Sunday, May 31, 2009

Day 62- Holey Sheet!

About 2 months ago Mr. Wright alerted me that there was a tiny hole in the sheet down by his feet. We've had the same sheets for two years and I'm not surprised that he finally wore a hole in them from all the moving around he does at night. I wake up in the exact position that I fell asleep in, but I'm surprised he hasn't started a fire with all his tossing and turning. The hole started about the size of a blueberry, but of course I didn't sew it then. He kept getting his feet caught in the hole and ripping it bigger, but I still didn't sew it. I didn't sew it when it was the size of a cantaloupe either.

Eventually I got tired of hearing him complain about it but I didn't want to spend the money on new sheets. I flipped the sheet the other way thinking that my 25 pillows I need to sleep would cover the hole that was now at my head. They didn't. I've been falling into sleeping on that hole for at least a month and decided that if was finally time to buy a new sheet.

I know I promised in this post that I wouldn't be going to Target for a while, but I couldn't resist when I saw the new ad included a whole bed in a bag for $39! All I really need is a new fitted sheet, but when they're nearly $40 themselves it made more sense to just get the bed in a bag. I woke up this morning and showered, got my kids up early, and threw them in the car. They love eating cereal out of a bag so they had breakfast on the way. I didn't want to take the time to blow dry my hair, so I just turned the air on full blast in the car. I love when my laziness comes off as creativity!

I went early to beat the rush for the $39 bed in a bag since it was on the cover of the ad and when I got there I realized why I was alone in the aisle. I knew they weren't the cutest thing ever, but I didn't expect them to look like something I'd pass up at a garage sale either. As a matter of fact, I'd go all the way to say they we're fugly. I ended up settling on some $24 white jersey sheets instead. I even washed them before I put them on my bed! High class!

Who knew I could write so much about my sheet replacing adventures?

I also have an exciting head injury to share! The head injury may or may not be responsible for an entire blog post about sheets, but I'm still figuring that out. Boo was very cranky yesterday and happened to be throwing a huge fit right as I was about to start making dinner. I tried to pawn her off distract her with the older kids but I ended up just laying her on the floor in Little Man's room where they were playing. She was screaming so I turned around quickly to make a swift exit and then OUCH!! Little Man's door decided to kiss me on the forehead... and nose. I looked in the mirror and my nose was instantly swollen and I had quite a goose egg on my forehead. Perfect... like I couldn't get any sexier than before.

By the time Mr. Wright got home from work about 20 minutes later Boo had calmed down and was laying on top of me while I had an ice pack over my whole swollen face. He was awesome and made dinner for the kids while I layed on the couch wondering if my non existent insurance would finally cover the nose job I've needed since I was 14. I also pondered if I was going to look like Owen Wilson in the morning. I rested for most of the evening which was kind of a bummer since I actually was making progress on some more before and after pictures up until when I kicked my own butt.

This morning I looked more like Carnie Wilson than Owen Wilson due to the swelling, but no one else at Target at 8:30 am seemed to care. My forehead has a little bruise and my nose has a perfect door line across part of it, but other than that I look pretty normal, thank goodness.

Here's two more before and afters from yesterday. As soon as my head stops pounding I'm hoping to finally get the pantry done.

My pen drawer before

My pen drawer after

The kids' computer desk before

The kids' computer desk after

Hopefully more to come!

Check out more before and after pictures at I'm an Organizing Junkie's Monthly Round Up!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Day 61- Before and After

Nothing seems to inspire me more than before and after pictures, and since I'm obviously not very inspire-able (yep, I made that up) I go nuts for any possible before and after pictures I can find. I'm thinking of taking my own picture in my jammies before a shower and eyebrow wax and just hanging it over my mirror as my before picture. Maybe that will inspire me to look more like an after in the mirror... maybe. I've gotten up early, showered AND brushed my hair 3 out of the last 4 days which for me is practically sterile conditions. I'm finding that smelling better really isn't that bad. Anyway... I seemed to have strayed a bit off course.

Cleaning and organizing things to make my life simpler and easier isn't enough gratification for me unfortunately. I need to have a before picture so it will inspire me to compare it to an after. Sometimes I randomly wander around my house taking pictures of every corner of every room the clutter in case I get crazy on a Saturday night. I'm wild like that. It's no surprise I'm sure that I never get around to it and then I have 35 random pictures of my clutter on my camera like a lunatic (like my pantry picture from yesterday). And I wonder why I don't have any memory on my computer...

Here's what I have so far, and hopefully I'll be able to add more before and afters soon!

My kitchen 'utility' drawer before:




And my game room before:


And after (I hung all the winter clothing up in the hall closet after this picture):


I've almost inspired myself to do the pantry... we'll see about that!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Day 60- Schooled

Yesterday was the first day of our 'homeschool hour' that I started to keep the kids learning and engaged over the summer. I couldn't care less about their progress since they're natural geniuses like their mother *cough, cough* but I don't really want them watching nine hours of Spongebob everyday either. I bought a kindergarten workbook off eBay a few months ago and I've been copying worksheets out on my printer. The kids love it since it gives them something to do, and since we only do it for an hour (usually including a game or activity and treat) they don't get bored with it.


Today I really needed to wrap some change since I've got it piling up everywhere. I could have waited for the kids to rest but I thought pawning my work off onto 4 and 5 year olds was a better plan anyway. I dumped all our change into a big bucket and had 4 smaller bowls for each denomination. The kids and I talked all about the different coins and what we thought different people would buy if they had a bunch of money. We sorted all the coins into the right bowls, then counted them as I filled the coin wrappers. The kids thought is was really fun, and they didn't even have to know that they were doing Mama's job. I'm already looking forward to our exhilarating "lid matching" game I have planned for tomorrow's dishes!


I'm swimming in laundry that needs to be folded so that's my big plan for this afternoon. I also need to clean up our game room for poker night. Right now it looks like Polly Pocket had a rave since there's random clothing and face down dolls all over the floor. Luckily most of the accessories are small enough to go up the vacuum... not that I'd do that or anything.

My other big project is my pantry. I don't know if I'll get it done today or not, but I'm posting my before picture here to hopefully inspire myself to fix it. I can't find a thing and everything is mis-labeled from the last pantry overhaul I did over a year ago. There's even a stash of toys that got taken away when the kids refused to pick them up and then forgotten about. I'm having to re-buy things that I didn't know I had in there and I skipped lunch just because all I could find was cereal.


Don't feel too badly for me as I snuck a small bag of Cheetos out of Mr. Wright's work lunch stash. I was very careful to not disturb the other chips and alert Mr. Wright of the intruder... now I just have to remember to destroy the evidence before he gets home. Hmm, I wonder how well Cheeto bags burn... this lady's about to find out!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Day 59- Wiped Out

All my life I have found joy in unusual places, most of them involving people getting hurt. I can't be the only person on the planet that finds people injuring themselves humorous or else America's Funniest Videos wouldn't exist. Last summer I discovered a show that was practically made for me... Wipeout!

wipeout Pictures, Images and Photos

If you haven't heard of the show then you don't know what you're missing. People complete an obstacle course that has been designed to beat the crap out of you in the name of hilarity, and any possible survivors are given the change to move on to the next round with the eventual winner getting $50,000 (most of it probably going to medical bills). The show is wonderful because unlike other sitcoms or reality shows the same episode is just as funny the 10th time as it was the first. People knocking their teeth out or getting sucker punched in the groin never gets old for me. Maybe I'm immature like that, but I'll now be looking forward to Wednesdays just for my Wipeout fix. Mr. Wright and I watched it last night and I was sore from laughing this morning... it's that good!

On the home front I actually got off my sexy behind and spent an hour doing the dishes, and an hour cleaning my stove and it's million pieces. As soon as I got done cleaning it was time to make dinner when I promptly splattered grease all over the stovetop. Then I boiled over some buttery, milky water all over and into every tiny crevice that I had just cleaned... and then I may or may not have yelled an bad obscenity that Boo promptly repeated. But probably not... but maybe. I was great about putting the leftovers away from dinner, and I even rinsed the dishes and put them straight in the dishwasher! Maybe there's hope for me yet. It's amazing what a shower can do for my mood... if your kids ever notify you to let you know that you're wet and give you a strange look it COULD be time to shower more. Not that I'd know anything about that look or anything...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Day 58- Seriously!?

As I sat down to type my blog today I realized that I am 58 days into this 'experiment' of being a real grown up and I've made NO progress. If anything I'm going backwards as now I have to squeeze blogging into my afternoon routine when I should be scrubbing the chunky milk out of the sippy cups.

I just want to be a normal person with a normal house that can have normal friends over without stashing the contents of my countertops in a closet first. I want to be able to get home from the store, haul all my groceries up the stairs and set them somewhere other than the floor. I want to wash, dry, and fold clothing all while they still fit the kid they were purchased for. I want a lot of things, especially a housekeeper. I also want another drumstick, but that's beside the point.

On the work out front I've misplaced my 30 day shred (possibly on purpose) and haven't touched the wii fit in weeks. My abs are SOOO sore today and so are the backs of my arms, but I can't think of what I possibly did to feel this way. I opened my eyes this morning and was pretty sure that someone had broken in and hit me in the stomach with a sledgehammer in the night. Every time I laugh, move, or blink I want to cry. If I'm sore then that is kinda like I worked out. In my opinion anyway...

I suck at working out. That's all there is to it. I also kinda suck at life, and cleaning, and making salsa- but that's a whole other post. I hate the downer posts, but if every post was about how awesome I'm doing with life in general then this blog would suck... and be a lie... and be kind of pompous. But since I'm honest in saying that I care what people think of my blog, and I care to tell the truth, and that I had to use spell check to correctly write 'pompous' then these kind of posts aren't so bad in my opinion.

Hopefully today I'll make an ounce of progress that's worthy of 58 days of intention. We'll see...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Day 57- Off Target

I was walking into Target this morning and happened to glance down at my children. They were all walking in a row, holding hands, and happy as can be. I hear a scream and see another mother pushing a cart. She has a newborn crying in a baby carrier, a toddler in full back arch in her arms, and a pissed off preschooler in her cart. I smugly think to myself how well behaved my kids are and how we all have those moments, but my angels were glowing as we walked through the automatic doors of hell Target.


I should have known better than to look down on that poor mom with the screamers. No sooner did I get through the door did my angelic little faces turn to monsters. Boo refuses to sit in the basket, refuses the child seat, and refuses the giant additional seats that make those bahama-mama carts so darn hard to steer. She also refuses to walk, and refuses to be held. Yes, those are all the possible options unless she whips out the jet pack in her diaper, but when you're two years old it doesn't matter. She let every single person in Target know that she wasn't getting what she wanted and that I was ill equipped since I didn't have a spare jet pack.

Little Man wanted to sit in the 'baby seat' so I let him, and then he scratched his leg on the plastic somewhere. He proceeded to cry and complain about his scratch but wouldn't move from the seat. Instead he perched on the SIDE of the cart with his feet in the baby seat. I had finally managed to get Boo into a big seat but she refused to buckle. I HAD to get some shopping done so I started to move the cart while carefully making sure neither Little Man or Boo would fall off making them cry and making all the super mommies inevitably passing by give me that 'Who let you have kids' look. I didn't give the screamer mommy that look, I just thought to myself how wonderful my children were being... it's different!

Anyway, I'm attempting to push my cart while holding on to two different kids about 2 feet apart and I get that FREAKING cart that only likes to turn left. Awesome. Another thing I need to hold onto. Now I'm barely rolling through the store pulling my cart, back to back against Little Man, and holding Boo's hand in the extra seat. I look like I'm trying to sneak past something by hiding behind a cart full of screaming crazy children. Several Target employing ask if I need help finding anything since I'm moving at a snail's pace and obviously look like I'm searching for the nearest alcoholic beverage. I debate whether or not to ask one of the kind 'team members' if they know what aisle my sanity is on, but I decide it may lead to me wearing a tight fitting white jacket by the end and skipped it.

Almost ten minutes later I finally creep into the aisle I needed. It was right next to toys so the kids were distracted enough throwing new fits that Boo forgot that I needed to hold her hand and Little Man sat down in the seat. I was actually pushing the cart like a human! I caved and bought them a slip and slide to reward their wonderful behavior as a bribe just to get the heck out of there. Luckily it worked on the older two, but Boo could care less about whatever is in that box and kept screaming. My new plan was to rush to the front as fast as I could and maybe the speed would shock Boo silent. It didn't work.

I sure don't know what Boo has against Target, but the manager knows me by name now. The last few times I've been there my children have screamed so shockingly loud that she always seems to join me in line to make sure that no one was hurt. I think I'm done shopping at Target for a while- it was good while it lasted. I'm sure I can re-create the experience by throwing some popcorn on the floor and having the kids scream for a few minutes anyway.

For now I'm going to try and track down the screamers' mom and see if she has any parenting tips.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Day 56- How I Became Mrs. Wright

I have big important plans today... like, *wearing jeans* kind of plans. I may even brush my hair, but no promises. Anyway, I really need to get going but of course I haven't accomplished anything to blog about. It's Friend Making Monday at All That Is Good, and today's question is about how I met my significant other.

I'm short on time and some details are still *fuzzy* due to the fact that may or may not have been 17 at the time. Shhh!

I had followed my best friend to a new school because I was in high school and didn't know how to handle life without her. It took an entire semester of school to convince my parents to let me go, so by the time I got there she had made new friends and didn't want anything to do with me. Beeyotch. I'm not still bitter or anything though.

Since I had already told my parents that my life would be over if I didn't change schools they weren't really wanting to hear my pleas to return to my original school. It took a year of sticking it out at the new school before they finally agreed that I could change at the semester in January.

My friend was going to be the manager of the basketball team and asked me to help her. I hate sports, and I hate laundry, but access to the boys locker room sounded pretty awesome when I was 16, so I agreed. I was still going to the old school when basketball season started in December, so it was awfully strange to dash out of my last class and screech over to my original school to be there before practice started after school. Anyway, Mr. Wright was the coach of the freshman team so I saw him at practice but we didn't interact much since I was always with the varsity team.

I returned to my original school on my 17th birthday. I continued as a basketball manager, and my friend and I both hung out with Mr. Wright at practice. He was 25 at the time and it wasn't really a love at first sight kind of thing. I didn't even realize that I had a *thing* for him until later AFTER all the rumors that we were together had died down. Things start to get pretty 'fuzzy' from there.

We got engaged on a trip to Las Vegas when we had traveled for his brother's wedding and been on a trip with my parents. We got married in March of 2003, less than 6 weeks after my 18th birthday. Sweetie Pie came in December, and the rest is history. People instantly like to do the pregnancy math, so I'll help...

We got married on 3/3/03 (at 3pm ;) ) and Sweetie Pie came 12/27/03 (that's 10 months) and Sweetie Pie was born at 36 weeks gestation. Really I got pregnant 2 months after my wedding, but even recently Mr. Wright's sister asked if I had been pregnant on my wedding day. Not that there's anything wrong with that... because there isn't. Please don't send me hate mail!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Day 55- About Me

I'm not doing anything productive today, so instead of posting about what I should be doing I wanted to post a little bit about me. As you've probably read in my about me section I'm not a big fan of writing about myself. It actually makes me feel like I'm creating my own online dating profile, and that's weird to put on my blog. "I'm a brunette Aquarius looking for someone who likes clean up after me. Turn ons are ice cream and salty snacks; turn offs are people who judge me for not brushing my hair."

See? It feels weird. Instead I just want to share some things that make me 'me'. If anyone has any idea why I have a panic attack when someone leaves time left on the microwave but old cereal bowls with milk on the counter don't bother me I'd love to know...

I e-mail myself almost daily. I see it as writing something down that I need to remember, but without losing the tiny post it that had sticky food residue on it to begin with.

I can't stand having a sticky detergent cap, so I throw it in the washing machine with the clothes.

There is something soothing to me about picking dried glue off the Elmer's bottle.

I can't stand when the kitchen cabinets and drawers get left open.

I used to obsessively vacuum almost every day, but now it's more like every 2 weeks.

I keep things I haven't touched in 5 years 'just in case'.

I have to cuddle a blanket to fall asleep. A pillow doesn't work.

I love garage sales, but only recently went to a thrift store.

I wear jeans almost everyday (when I do get dressed I mean ;) )

If I won $1,000,000 I wouldn't move, but I would add on and put up a fence. And hire a maid.

I brush my teeth in the shower, and I always have.

Mr. Wright and I hate fancy restaurants, and hate dressing up. We go to Q'Doba on special occasions.

I live in Alaska, but I hate being outside.

I consider myself 'crafty', but maybe produce 4 projects a year.

I own every scrapbook product ever made, but haven't made a page in 6 months.

I have less than 3 people that I'm not related to that I would call if I was having a bad day. Sometimes that makes me happy that I have such a great family, and sometimes it makes me sad that I don't really know anyone that doesn't HAVE to love me.

Sometimes I wait in the laundry room in my undies for my clean warm jammie pants to be dry. I'll leave you with that awesome mental picture for the day!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Day 54- Donation Dunce

A few months ago I had a bit of an organizing/decluttering bug and I bagged up a bunch of stuff to donate to charity. I'm sure that no one here is shocked that I didn't follow through, so now I have 12 garbage bags full of 'stuff' in my way. A normal person would have taken them to the thrift store by now but I'm still drowning in bags. I try to justify it by saying that I wouldn't be able to fit them all in my van with my kids, but that argument has quite a few holes.

I actually love to give things away. I love the feeling of knowing that I have that much more space in my house once something is gone. I love selling something on Craigslist and using that money for something I really want. I love being able to walk into my laundry room without hopping over more than one obstacle. It's the little things... Unfortunately the urge to purge AND the follow through doesn't happen very often.

I'm getting brave and setting a goal for myself... hopefully I'll stick to it and everyone can make fun of my unbrushed hair and dirty pajama pants if I don't- deal?

My goal is to get the donation bags TO the thrift store. For extra credit I can make a few bags of nice kids' clothes for the consignment store. I'm not going to put too much weight on that chore though. Especially since I've already put so much weight on my thighs... darn drumsticks. Hopefully this very short chore list will actually work! I don't want to set my sights too high because I'm starting the Simplify 101 class on Tuesday and don't know what the class will 'expect' of me... I may have my hand full with that already!

If you see me out and about in town smack me upside the head if I don't have donation bags with me, then smack me again if I look like that mom that I promised I'd never become, which I probably will. I apologize in advance if I smack you back because I had forgotten about this little agreement.

What have YOU been avoiding forever? Am I in this boat alone? Post the chore you've been putting off in the comments, and maybe we can inspire each other! Or maybe we can chip in for a housekeeper...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Day 53- Simplify 101

A while back I came upon the website Simplify 101. It is basically a site that offers online classes that breaks down organizing, usually a huge daunting task, into manageable pieces while helping you change the habits that made you unorganized to begin with. I was really intrigued, but couldn't justify the cost of the classes, especially since I have a deep history of not following through. I joined the newsletter since they send out free organizing tips, and was thrilled to find that they are running a FREE workshop called "Help, I don't know where to begin!". Sound familiar?

This is from the e-mail:

A new simplify 101 workshop is now open for enrollment and the best part of all—it’s free!

When you think about getting organized, do these words ever cross your mind: Help! I don’t know where to begin!

If so, you’re not alone! As a professional organizer, these are the words I hear most often when talking to prospective clients. Whether the state of clutter in your home has you overwhelmed to the point of not knowing where to start, or you’re simply feeling ready to turbo-charge your organizing efforts, our free workshop “Help! I don’t know where to begin!” is for you! This workshop will show you where and how to start the organizing process and make a noticeable difference in your home—all in just one week!

The workshop begins May 26, 2009. So…sign up today!

Awesome, right? I'm so excited to try this method, and I figure that even if it doesn't "cure" me it sure can't hurt. You just add it to your cart, register for the workshop, and sign in on Tuesday to get started. I hope you give it a try if you're in the same boat I am when it comes to organizing... after all, free is my kind of price!

Now all I have to do is reschedule the 'sitting on my butt doing nothing' I had planned for Tuesday...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Day 52- Fan-tasic

Am I the only person who thinks it's ridiculous to become a fan of stupid crap on Facebook? Sure, I love laughing and sleeping in, but not so much that I feel the need to track down their facebook pages and become a fan. I only 'fan' cool things... like Mrs. Wright, Gone Wrong now on Facebook! Actually I'm not even my own fan because I think that's lame... I wouldn't 'friend' myself- at least not on Facebook since they broadcast it to everyone that I have no friends.

I really love foot massages, pink nail polish, sudoku, and my camera, but am I going to waste a whole afternoon searching (and possibly making new pages) for them? Nope. Why would I do that when I can spend the afternoon watching The King of Queens reruns and counting the number of toys on my floor? Priorities, people! Actually, I did search for them just to prove my point. Guess what? Foot massages, pink nail polish, sudoku, and my exact camera model ALL have Facebook pages with scores of fans. This is worse than I thought.

If you really feel that strongly about something by all means, become a fan. Being a fan of an actor, a great restaurant, sports or activities? Awesome! Way to share the love! Being a fan of that feeling after you sneeze (the page exists) and pudding skin (also real)?? You may need a 12 step program for serial fans...

The next time you log on to Facebook and see that your friend has become a fan of 'running water' have a little giggle for me please. I'm off to make sure that I haven't 'fanned' anything dumb before anyone goes to check.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Day 51- Welcome Perverts!

I've been enjoying quite the visit surge since I posted about that hot mom yesterday, but unfortunately I don't think it's related to the fact that I finally went and got that bread out of the freezer... I was hoping (and assumed) that my Google searcher was really looking for his friend's mom online. Boy, was I wrong. I did rocket into the top 5 results when I posted the whole phrase though. I'm too scared to see what those search terms actually lead to, but it sure doesn't look good. I'm also not thrilled with people who are searching for that coming here where I have pictures of my adorable children all over. I've changed the words in the original post so I won't get as many hits and hopefully all those searchers from Europe, Asia, and the US will find what their looking for elsewhere. This lady must be pretty freaking hot...

Back to my NON perverted life...

I have to take Sweetie Pie and Little Man to the dentist today for a checkup and I'm terrified. Little Man is not a fan of new places, new people, long car rides, and people touching his mouth and the next few hours will involve ALL of those things. Boo is going to stay with MIL, so at least I don't have to worry about her gassing the patient next door while I'm sitting on Little Man trying to get him to quit scratching the dentist. Sweetie Pie has had more experience with the dentist and is easily pacified with the promises of free crap made in China so I won't have to hold her down, thank goodness.

Here's the numbers for today:
Perverts looking for something not sold here- 23
Loafs of bread on my counter- 1
Breakthroughs- 0
Number of dental appointments today- 2
Packages of fruit snacks my kids have eaten in the last 24 hours- 11
Comments on my blog from my FAVORITE author (OMG!)- 1
The look on my face when I have to walk out of the hospital holding a screaming, snotty 4 year old, 2 toothbrush goody bags, imported plastic trinkets, Sweetie Pie's hand, my purse with ringing phone, and have an ironic "cavity free" sticker stuck to my butt- PRICELESS

Extreme Makeover: Me Edition

No, I didn't work out again this week, unless you count barely bouncing on the trampoline for 20 minutes trying to get my kids excited. I also did some arm curls while shoving puffy cheetos in my face hole. Yes, multitasking.

Amber's EMME question of the week is:
Name your guilty pleasure. Think of a healthier choice you could use as a substitute.

I can actually answer this question because it deals with food. Yum!

I love, love, love salty chips. I substitute with baked lays and sometimes sun chips, but nothing satisfies like regular 'leaves a grease mark on a napkin' Lays.

I also like drumstick ice cream cones. A whole days fat in one convenient package! I SHOULD be eating the double churned strawberry ice cream that I love in my freezer, but I'll get it as soon as I get my bread from yesterday...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Googlers And Those Who Love Them


*This post has been edited to take out the original search words since I bumped myself to the top 5 results by posting the whole phrase of this frequently-searched-for-by-perverts term*

I'm totally outdoing myself by posting twice in one day, but I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that someone had found my site using Google. No, I'm not laughing because Google even sent its little bots in my lowly direction (even though I should) but I'm laughing at the terms that people type into Google. This particular visitor typed in something creepy about his amigo's female parent which I'm REALLY hoping isn't a porn title, and pulled my site up as one of the top 10 results. No, I haven't been moonlighting as an "actress" but here were the results as presented to the googler:

Mrs. Wright, Gone Wrong

I had everything around, so this was FREE! Photobucket. Posted by Mrs. Wright ... with us after they sat in my hot van in the sun all day today :-X Fishy! .... I am sure that all my friends are dying to know what goes on during the 4th ... to post on my vacation, but I've scheduled the original "I'm a crappy mama, ...

His search words are in bold. That poor guy...

I also get regular visits from people on the hunt for corn dog sticks and french fry covered corn dogs stemming from this post about things I found on the floor of my van. I wonder if those poor searchers really realized what they were getting into when they clicked on my site in their results list. I'm also glad the people that missed it the first time will now get all caught up on me not wearing a bra that day.

My newest post getting quite a few looks from Google is the Black Friday post that I scheduled for my vacation. It had nothing to do with shopping Black Friday, but more of a 'this-is-the-end-of-the-world' Black Friday. Either way I think way too many people are googling it. It's freaking MAY people, calm down about the after Thanksgiving sales. I'm not really one to judge the end-of-the-world searchers, so they get a Get Out of Rant Free Card today.

I'm sure I've typed in some random searches before (usually with random words like I'm talking to a friend such as "That blog that I read once about a month ago with a funny post about tigers") but mine are more vague than anything. And no, I didn't find my tiger post. I also wouldn't recommend googling that phrase (or anything somewhat vague) unless you're into some freaky stuff. Dang tiger perverts. They ruin everything...

Day 50- On The Verge

This feeling come around every so often, usually with no real meaning, but today I really do feel like I'm on the verge of something. I'm hoping that I'm on the verge of a breakthough that will help me better manage my family and my life, but I could just as easily be on the verge of a breakdown. My life isn't hard by any means, but I just can't get it together...

We've been out of bread for 3 days. On a good day I bought bread ahead of time while it was on sale and froze it. All I have to do is go to the freezer in the garage and get it. I don't have to even get dressed or attempt to find mismatched socks for my kids. I just need to make my way ALL the way downstairs and pick one. Sounds easy, but I still haven't done it. I guess we'll be having peanut butter and jelly tortillas again...

I've decided that I really need an assistant, or at the very least a really pathetic friend that has nothing better to do than call me every hour to remind me about the bread and the smelly clothes in the washing machine. Of course no one wants to be that friend because then I'll get pissed at them for making me accountable and bossing me around, even though I asked them to. Welcome to my thought process- dizzy yet?


As much as I can't stand the super mommies I yearn to be in on the secret meetings that they must have at night to remind each other to bake fresh bread every day (only 12 grain of course!) in hopes that their overachieving ways would inspire me to make that long walk to the freezer. Maybe I'll even pick up some tips on making my house not look like I'm hiding some rabid monkeys that escaped from my science experiment gone wrong, but I doubt any of them will stick. For now I'll just speculate about the real reason that my neighbors seem to have a lot of guests over late at night- my money's on crack brownies and Passion Parties. ;)

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have good news about bread and breakthroughs!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Friend Making Mondays 5/18/09

Jump on over to All That Is Good to see how everyone else answered these questions and to find some cool new blogs!

You wouldn't be caught dead where?: Anywhere that's poorly lit with spiders.

Do you have any hidden talents?: I'm so low on talent that I surely wouldn't hide it if I had one.

Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at: procrastinating and playing board games

Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at: keeping my house clean and HVAC repair

Have you ever won a trophy?: I got a participation trophy, with no name on it, for 4th grade band. If that does count it really shouldn't...

Name one thing not many people know about you: I never eat the last bite of food on the plate... unless I'm really hungry and it was really good. I don't know why, I just don't.

Name your earliest memory: Making space suits out of paper grocery bags in preschool

What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?: 98 degrees baby!

What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?: I've never had a roommate until I was married.

When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?: An architect

What was your worst dating experience?: The only one that I can think of was when I was 12 I wasn't very popular, but the most popular guy in school "asked me out". In middle school that meant that you hold hands at school and talk on the phone at night. You never really go "out" or so I thought. We ended up going to a hockey game about 2 weeks into the "relationship" and he got mad that I wouldn't make out with him. He dumped me two days later... on my birthday.

If you were about to die what would your last meal be?: KFC strips, dry cinnamon toast crunch cereal, cheese fondue, my friend Mrs. Awesome's artichoke dip and my mom's chocolate chip cookies.

Who is the most important person in you life?: My family. I know that's not a person, but that's what I picked. Deal with it :P

If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?: My kids, my external hard drive with all our family photos, and the kids' blankets.

Day 49- Dora The Impostor

I woke up this morning to Mr. Wright putting Little Man in my bed and turning on Dora at a volume level that should be illegal before 8am. The following is what I scribbled on my notebook from bed, half asleep, and quite angry about the deception that bowl cut headed little gordita brings into my children's lives...


Ahh Dora... she's the picture perfect child who always does the right thing, is concerned for everyone's feelings, will do anything to rescue a friend in need, and has an above average bilingual vocabulary. Too bad no one is around to celebrate with her. Where the heck are her Mami and Papi? I know they're busy with the twins but why do they let her wander around all day through rugged terrain and dangerous conditions to find stupid stuff? She never even has water in her backpack- Isn't it HOT in Mexico? What a poor example. I'm left saying "No Sweetie Pie, you can't cross a rope bridge over crocodile infested waters, find your way through a jungle, then search a pyramid to find the class hampster. Mama will just buy a new one.

While we're on the subject of how Dora spends her days, I don't want my kids to think it's okay to hang out with monkeys unsupervised, even if they are wearing boots. I bet the bad men hiding in that jungle wear boots- that doesn't make anybody friendly. I'm also a little ticked about the unrealistic expectations this show is creating for items like backpacks and maps. When you need something from your backpack requesting it nicely in 2 languages isn't going to cut it in the real world. You're going to have to spend a few minutes digging around, especially if you carry as much crap stuff as I do in my Mary Poppins bag.

Do you notice how Dora always has everything she needs (except water of course)? If I was Dora, I'd carry a spanish dictionary since she encounters so many friends that only speak spanish, but that's just me. On second thought, she always has to repeat what she's telling her friends at least 3 times, so maybe she should throw a hearing aid into her backpack for good measure instead. You never know when you're going to need stuff like hamster food, do you? I like to be just as prepared so I keep crushed up animal crackers and old gummy bears rolling around the bottom of my purse in case Boo throws a fit at Target I need to feed a hamster. I guess I could just buy new food when I buy the new class hamster, but that would burst my preparedness bubble.

Moving on to the map- even if you have a regular map, Google Earth, Onstar AND a GPS non of them are going to tell you where the class hamster is. Plus the Onstar concierges get irritated even when you ask them a simple thing like to give you directions to your keys, trust me...

Now I'm all fired up so I'm off to find my English/Spanish dictionary and some hamster food. You know, just in case.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Day 48- Picking Up The (Toy) Pieces

Welcome to birthday aftermath, day one. I did manage to bag up the torn wrapping paper and a few of the toy boxes, but other than that the house is still in it's original after party state. Actually, I guess it's worse because now all the toys and their million accessories are all over the living room floor just waiting for me to step on them and accidentally suck them into the vacuum. I know, that last part won't happen since it requires vacuuming. I have a feeling that I need to upgrade to a bigger 'lost pieces' box to accommodate.

I got everything on my list done from yesterday with the exception of folding the laundry. I ended up folding half and hiding half, so that's progress. Now I just have to un-scrunch the pile I did hide and try to smooth it into a somewhat folded shape. Eh, maybe tomorrow...

Everyone had a great time, especially Little Man, but we're ALL going to take a nap today... then get started with planning Boo's birthday- 22 days and counting.

Cue Picture Mania




Saturday, May 16, 2009

Day 47- Birthday Update

I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off at the moment, but I needed a bloggy break. I ended up going over my birthday budget by $5, but I justified it because I had to buy 2 bottles of taco sauce that won't all be used at the party. I also bought extra koolaid for home. All in all I think I did pretty well. I'll post the breakdown later after I finally breakdown myself, along with pictures of course! Wish me luck that I can clean the bathroom, fold (I really mean hide) the laundry, frost the cake, prep the toppings and have everything ready by 6. I'm worried too ;)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Day 46- Screaming Like A Girl

My kids won't stop chasing each other around with very LOUD pretend hand mixers.
The dog won't stop barking.
The washer is off balance and being really loud.
The baby is crying.
The phone won't stop ringing.
If I hear one more MOMMY!! I'm going to scream louder than the baby.
The oven timer is beeping.
The dishwasher is washing.
My cell phone is dying and crying out for a charge every 2 seconds.
I ate part of the birthday cake.
There's snot on my pants.
I just got hit with a corndog.
I'm having the worst hair day of my life.
I have 10 loads of laundry to fold.
Boo peed on the couch during the two minutes that it took me to find a new diaper.
I still have a million things to do for the party.
Mr. Wright was home for 10 minutes before he left again, and I'm jealous.
I need a shower.

It's only an hour until bedtime... you think I'll make it??

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Day 45- Moving On Up

I spent a good part of the morning helping my friend move into a new apartment that happened to be filthy in a few areas. It got me thinking about how people live that... then I realized that maybe I live like that. What are the things around my house that don't seem to bother me, but would be the first thing that someone moving into my house would clean? What are the things in my house that I would want to clean or fix up to try to sell my house? And why the heck am I cleaning and improving my home for someone ELSE to live in it? Why don't I clean and fix it up for myself? Wait! Don't go! I promise I'll quit asking myself questions!

I don't have any plans to move in the next 20 years, so I think it's time that I make my house a nice place for ME. I have a few more days of birthday planning, and then I'm going to go through my house room by room and take notes on what I would do "if I lived here". Then as time and money allows I will execute my plans. Hopefully this will create a home that I'm proud to call mine, and more importantly feel motivated to keep clean. You think it will work? (That was a question for you, not me)

swinging open house sign Pictures, Images and Photos

Speaking of the birthday planning... I bought a '4' candle and some ice cream today, and also started making a timeline of when I'll make the cake and the taco dinner. I've decided to bake the cake tomorrow, thaw the taco meat tomorrow night, buy the taco shells and toppings on Saturday morning, then prep the toppings and frost the cake Saturday afternoon. Even though I have a plan I'm sure I'll fit some procrastinating in there...

Here's my count so far:
Already spent $17.92
Birthday candle $1.09
Sprinkle ice cream $4.99
Total so far: $24 exactly
Left to spend: $26 for shells, toppings, and plates

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Day 44- Dollars and No Sense

Today the kids and I enjoyed this beautiful day with a short trip to the park, and then hit the 'preview' of my mother-in-law's garage sale. Sweetie Pie and Little Man came home with all sorts of 'treasures', including a vibrating pillow, a shell jewelry box, and most notably a retro end table. It was dark wood, of course, and her room is every shade of pastel imaginable so I was excited to finally be able to spray paint something. Unfortunately I don't know what the heck I was doing and I don't think it's going to turn out well. Crafts gone wrong just inspire more creativity to 'fix' them I've decided. I keep trying to tell myself that at least.

I also got some shopping done for Little Man's birthday today. He's going to be 4 and I think I'm going to have to sit him down and tell him that he's too old to just wear his underwear around the house with his weenie and beanies hangin' out. He just likes to jump around in his undies too often and I'm starting to feel creeped out. Anyway, I'm already starting to worry about my $50 birthday challenge, but I'm sticking to my guns and I WILL make it work.

Today I purchased:
4 boxes of cake mix- $3.96
3 cans of frosting- $5.00
2 bags of balloons- $4.98
2 rolls of crepe paper- $3.98

Total so far- $17.92
Left to spend- $32.08

I still need taco shells, toppings, plates, mickey sprinkles, drinks and ice cream, plus anything else I think of. Do you think anyone would be offended if I charged admission to this shindig?

I don't think anyone on Extreme Makeover: Me Edition is surprised that I didn't work out AGAIN this week, and now I'm scared to start shredding again because it will be like the first day all over- ouch! I'm trying to get motivated and stay accountable, but it's easier just to pretend that I don't know what anyone is talking about when they mention exercise. Exercise? What's that? A new kind of gatoraid?

See? Works like a charm!

I am good at answering today's question though- Show an inspirational pic of what you want your body to look like... I saw this on someone's blog a few days ago and immediately stole it for personal use- that sound's dirty but it's not.


Hellllllllllllllo abs! Someday I'll be sweaty like that from working out and not from struggling to open those stubborn tiny bags of chips. It's a darn conspiracy to keep me from enjoying the greasy goodness!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Day 43- Birthday Blues

It's been amazingly nice weather which led me to wearing shorts today. That alone is scary enough because my legs hardly ever see the sun and I'm starting to resemble that kid from Powder. I was just staying home today though, so I thought I'd mix it up and wear pajama shorts instead or pajama pants- crazy, right!? Anyway, the shorts led to a ten minute discussion with Sweetie Pie about why Mama has those 'sharp bumps' on her legs and she doesn't. Apparently I'm due to shave soon...

The kitchen is clean and the counters are clear, but if I don't act soon they sure won't stay that way. I was hoping to have everything done by the time The Biggest Loser finale started tonight so I could watch it "live" and not let those a-holes on Yahoo ruin the ending for all those pesky people that are behind East Coast, and God forbid, California time. We'll see if I actually get around to it this afternoon or not. I'm also embarrassed to admit that I still haven't unpacked our bags from our trip this weekend, and I have to run down and dig through backpacks just to find basic socks and undies for the kids. I really should make a list of everything I need to do, but I'd rather stick with the mental list of all the junk food I'm going to cram into my mouth while watching the big finale tonight that I already have in the works.

My other big job this week is Little Man's birthday... it's Saturday, and I don't have ANYTHING planned. He wants a rainbow colored Mickey Mouse shaped cake, just like last year. He wants "that pirate ship that I asked you for at the store but you said no" so I have to track that thing down and wrap my quarters to be able to afford it probably. I still have so much to do, but I'm glad that my kids are happy with having a tiny celebration. I can't imagine spending $200 on a birthday party much less these huge celebrations where the guests hardly even see the birthday kid and the parent have to call Suze Orman afterwards to figure out how to eat the next week. My goal is to buy the pirate ship, and spend less that $50 on the rest of the party. Stay tuned to watch me panic when I hit $49.50 and forgot to buy ice cream!

Little Man at his party last year- I photoshopped some circles together, cut out the 3, threw some text on there, and printed it out on iron transfer paper. I used a shirt that was almost too small and stained because I have issues with wearing and using seasonal things after that 'time' has passed. I had everything around, so this was FREE!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Day 42- Home Sweet Homer

My family and I took our mini-vacation to Homer, Alaska. It is around 6 hours from my house, but it's more like 10 if the roof rack is noisy and you have to stop to get a new rack, then install it, then stop for lunch, then stop at Costco, then stop for a pee break and ice cream, then get behind a slow motion motorcycle and the 5 cars that won't pass him. Basically we left in the morning and got there at night...

We played on the beach, went for walks, searched for seashells, and sealed up the leaky air mattress with nail polish at 10pm when my kids were supposed to be asleep at 8. We took bubble baths, read magazines, blew bubbles and took pictures. It was relaxing and fun, and the kids had a blast playing with their cousins.

Me trying to get Boo near the water without her screaming (it didn't happen)

Boo enjoying dry land just fine

Sweetie Pie collecting rocks and shells

Little Man putting the rubber boots to work

The condo that now smells like llama poo and has one extra air mattress in it's dumpster

A whale right off the beach

An eagle sitting on the roof right next to us (thanks Mr. Wright for buying me that zoom lens!)

And here's a more scenic picture that I took last year...Photobucket

I hope you enjoyed your Alaskan glimpse, and be thankful that you can't smell the seashells that came home with us after they sat in my hot van in the sun all day today :-X Fishy! :-X

Day 41- Mother Trucker

Day 41 was yesterday, but I was way too busy being crammed in between 2 carseats with 5 different lunches in my lap and sitting next to a baby that smelled like a llama farm to fit blogging in. I told her not to touch that plunger in the McDonald's bathroom, but she got raging llama scented diarrhea anyway. Thank god I switched to regular diapers for the trip :-X Naaaasty!

llama. Pictures, Images and Photos

There is nothing I wanted to do more on Mother's Day than spend it with my kids and my own mother. I sure got my wish, but my wish was contained in an SUV along with most of our belongings, in my foot space, for a six hour drive. Good times. I would have thrown myself out of the window... that is if I had a window. Boo thought it was great that Mama was sitting right next to her, but she still felt the urge to yell MAMA!? in my ear every 2 seconds just as loudly as she would have if I were driving. I also got the pleasure of serving juice box and fruity snacks after juice box and fruity snack all well balancing the garbage in my lab and licking off the squeezed out juice from my arm. I sure love my kids, but I think a handmade card would suffice for next year.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Day 40- Black Friday

***Since I'm off enjoying the "cold beach" today I thought I'd post some old blog posts that my 2 friends on Myspace got to enjoy!***

Friday, October 12, 2007

Current mood: aggravated
Today is Friday, Black Friday to be exact... the events of Black Friday really started Thursday night, as if no more crappy things could be packed into Black Friday that some spilled into Black Thursday. It all started Thursday afternoon- Sweetie Pie had been playing with pens and writing her name on some paper. She got a little wild with the pen and drew one half of a perfect handlebar mustace on her face. Naturally, instead of washing it, off Mr. Wright just drew the other half. It was the funniest thing so I took about 100 pictures of it and went to load them onto my computer.

My laptop was not responding at all so I did the classic turn-it-off-turn-it-back-on-and-hope-it-works move. It didn't work. Half optimistic and half postitive the whole laptop is toast I tried to move on with my evening. I got the kids into bed and waited around to do my grocery shopping when no one would be at the store.

I left at around 9:30 pm and headed to Carrs. I had a huge list and my cart will filled to the brim. Chicken breasts were on sale so I stocked up to fill my freezer. 6 packages of chicken breasts were placed on the shelf under my cart. My car was parked in the first spot because it was so late, so it was an easy walk from the door to the car. Something caught the wheel of my cart but the weight of the full cart ran right over it. I looked down to see my chicken breasts all over the Carrs parking lot with cart-wheel tracks right down the middle. So here I am, in the pitch black, bent down trying to scrape my chicken breasts off the parking lot. I was pleased to see that the packaging was still intact. I loaded all the groceries into the car and went home.

I get home to find my husband fast asleep, so I brought everything in myself. 8 trips up my stairs later, it was in! By now it was 11pm. I headed straight for the chicken to find that it had been punctured and was kinda dirty... not one to ever waste I cooked up that chicken right then and there. By the time I had my chicken cooked and in the freezer, and all the other groceries put away it was 12:20- officially Black Friday. At this point it just seemed like bad luck but little did I know what was in my future.

8am- Black Friday
My nephew gets dropped off and we started our routine of Little Einsteins. I remembered that today was septic pumping day. Company? I should put on pants... At 9:45 the septic service shows up. He comes to the door and lets me know that he is starting. I turn around to go upstairs to find Little Man covered in diarrhea. Guess that milk was bad! I clean him up and clean up the house. At 10:30 the kids are bored.

On Black Thursday I had bought a fun treat for the kids to make. We all helped make chocolate covered pretzels with Halloween sprinkles. I told them to wait until after lunch to eat them. The septic guy rings the doorbell and I stepped out onto the porch to talk with him so I could hear him over the barking dog. This is where it all went downhill. I attempt to open the door and it is locked. 4 kids 4 and under inside and they have locked me out with a smelly septic dude named Ray.

I ran to the garage door to THANKFULLY find it unlocked. I get upstairs to find Sweetie Pie SO concerned about me- sitting at the table eating the prezel sticks that I hold told her not to eat 5 minutes prior. Thanks! I continue to clean up the pretzel stick mess and am loading the dishwasher when Sweetie Pie approaches me. With a simple "Little Man did something bad" I knew Black Friday wasn't done with me yet.

I am tugged into Little Man's room and find him sitting on his bed. Right there you know trouble is coming. Upon further inspection I see an entire bottle of Thomas the Train Bubble Bath poured into a 1x1 foot square on his carpet. I soak up what I can with a towel but head for my carpet cleaner. I keep it in the garage now because I lent it to someone and it came back smelling like it worked full time on the Cheech and Chong movie sets. I drag it upstairs and start sucking up the bubble bath. I am sure you can imagine what bubble bath does when sucked through an air hose mixed with water. 90 minutes later I had most of the bubbles up. I put all the kids down without lunch (they ate all those pretzel sticks, remember?) because I knew that if I spent one more minute with them that Black Friday would hit again.

My first instinct was to jump on my laptop to vent to whoever would listen- no go. Tip- whenever you turn on your computer and see a blue screen with the words corrupt and failure on it- it isn't good! Oh, I have a desktop downstairs!! I run downstairs to realize that my nephew naps downstairs... being the horrible auntie that I am I moved him up onto the couch so that I could vent. I do feel much better. If you made it this far then I applaud you, and I wish upon you that you will NEVER experience a Black Friday like mine.

I am a firm believer that every cloud has it's silver lining, so here's mine- my carpet cleaner now has a nice berry majuana scent!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Day 39- My First Ever Blog Post

***Since I'm out of town enjoying the "cold beach" I've been digging though my 3 whole posts from my myspace page.***

Friday, September 21, 2007

Current mood: bored

Why is it that I have only been on Myspace for 24 hours and am compelled to check in every hour? How can I be so addicted to something that I just started?

Yesterday I found myself adding friends and finding lost people from the past while Boo cried in her swing. I had to step back at that point and take care of my poor baby! She is sleeping peacefully now despite the circus happening down the hall. My nephew is here and when the three of them get together you can't hear yourself think.

I am not really sure why I am "blogging" as if someone really cares about my life, LOL! I am sure that all my friends are dying to know what goes on during the 4th hour of the Today show. It is hard to explain how I can be so bored and so busy at the same time...

Anyway, I have nothing to say (as usual) but had to put SOMETHING here.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Day 38- Wacky Packy

So I haven't packed a single thing, but I did finally get to see the tops of my counters. I kinda forgot what they looked like. I guess that's a great tip for people who think their countertops are ugly- just quit doing dishes and decluttering! You're welcome :) Since the kitchen is finally okay I'm going to post the before picture, but don't look too closely!
After (the best that I can get without actually cleaning for the pic!)

The laundry is almost all clean which will greatly aid in packing. I also picked up some disposable diapers today since I didn't think the rented condo's owners would appreciate me filling their washing machine with poo diapers. That, and I'm looking forward to a vacation from dipping dirty diapers in the potty. I even treated myself to using them today too so I don't have to come home to five day old dirty diapers.

I never got around to posting yesterday, but I had a very emotional day with my first baby graduating preschool. She was a little disappointed this morning when we didn't immediately drop her off at kindergarten, but she'll get over it eventually. Little Man also got his certificate of completion. They both attended a performing arts preschool, so much to Mr. Wright's dismay Sweetie Pie and Little Man both did their "teddy bear boogie" in full sequins. I'm sure Mr.Wright is happy that Little Man screamed for 10 minutes at home, 20 minutes on the drive to school, and another 10 after that because he didn't want to wear the vest. The teacher finally got him calmed down and even got him to smile in the class picture... here's the best I got.


I won't be able to post on my vacation, but I've scheduled the original "I'm a crappy mom, get me outta here" post from my Myspace blog to post on Saturday so no one will forget about me! :P I'll be back on Monday and I'm sure I'll have plenty of great stories from being trapped in a car with six other people.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Day 37- Avoidance

I have a million things to do including packing, cleaning, photo editing, laundry, dinner, and finding out where that smell is coming from. I'm thinking I'll save up my crazy thoughts and put them into a super post tonight or tomorrow. I'm not sure if that's procrastination or not since I'm getting other things done that are more important (SUPPOSEDLY!) than blogging. You be the judge :P

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Day 36- Yearning For Showers

I'm really in need of a shower today, but I just haven't found the time in between sitting on the couch and reading the National Enquirer. My current hair "style" is a cross between a sweaty polygamist bride and a Nick Nolte mugshot which I'm sure is a great mental picture to haunt you with. It's just sunny enough that I can catch my reflection in the laptop screen, and at first I thought a frightened young boy was trapped in there. Maybe I should put some make up on...

Sweetie Pie is having a girls' day with Grandma, and I'm getting a reality check on how often I rely on her for help. She loves helping and I'm not making her do anything drastic, but when Boo has poo from her belly button to her knees it's really helpful to have someone else finding the wipes container while I play "no poo on the carpet". It was great to spend some one on one time with Little Man during Boo's nap though. Maybe I'll tell Mr. Wright that is the reason we don't have any clean cups, forks, spoons, bowls, hair, or socks.

I took another before picture of my kitchen so I'll get full credit if and when I do clean it enough to count as an 'after', and the three-days-ago after is actually starting to look good to me. At least there weren't pajamas in a crockpot and an empty ketchup bottle in the cleaning caddy (when you get desperate for counter space the nesting and stacking starts).

The living room is a whole other story with the laundry monster angrily taking over the couch and end table. On the other hand having all the kids clothes out and accessible really cuts down on the time I have to spend putting together outfits for them. I'll stick with their drawers anyway though because Little Man woke me up this morning wearing a dirty t-shirt and Sweetie Pie's skinny jeans. In his defense he pulled them off flawlessly- I think I'd look like a vertical chicken drumstick, loose skin and all.

Speaking of disasters, we had an earthquake today and I almost had to bust out one of my first aid kits... too bad I needed it for my stupid injury when I overreacted to a tiny 3.8 magnatude shake centered 50 miles away. I was sitting at the dining room table eating lunch when I felt the jolt. Little Man and Boo were safely perched on the windowsill of the second story window (it was closed and the couch is up against it). I was sure this was the "big one" that I've been preparing for in the millisecond that I had to think, so I leaped out of my chair to collect them from the window.

Once I got them out of harm's way the shaking stopped and they looked at me like I'd truly lost my mind (more than usual) I noticed I couldn't feel my shin. No, wait... I can feel my shin and it hurts like hell. I must have caught it on the table leg when I was attempting to fly across the room to "save" my children. That's going to be a fun bruise to explain... and even more fun to shave the stubble off of when I finally get around to taking that shower.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Friend Making Mondays 5/4/09

Amber Filkins from {aefilkins} is hosting this week's Friend Making Monday, and since making friends brings more people to my blog and allows me to find cool new blogs I love it's a good thing for me to participate in. This weeks subject is 'Name 5 toys that remind you of your childhood'...

The pics are stolen from Photobucket again, so if you click on them and they link you to creepy stuff don't judge me please :P

Lincoln Logs
Lincoln Logs Pictures, Images and Photos

Cabbage Patch Kids

Barbie Rockers with Cafe
Barbie and the Rockers Dance Cafe Pictures, Images and Photos

80's Play Kitchen

Rollerblades Pictures, Images and Photos

Day 35- Watered Down

I was hoping to log in today and post my sparkling after pictures side by side with the horrible before pics from yesterday, but to no one's surprise I can't really do that. I think today's kitchen is worse than yesterday's, probably because of the turkey dinner I made last night. I'm a crazy person who likes to heat up the kitchen a bit more with turkey and mashed potatoes during record temperatures apparently. I did put the leftovers away, but all the rock hard mashed potato dishes are still all over the counters.

I made some progress today on the apocalypse readiness front when I found $8 plastic water jugs on clearance for $.97 at Sports Authority. I only bought four because I had Mr. Wright with me and he embarrasses easily, but I figure 20 gallons of water is better than none. I know it sounds like a lot, but when you use it for washing and food prep as well as drinking and split it between 5 people, it isn't even a third of what's recommended. Now we'll at least be able to make some macaroni and cheese and flush the toilet when the power goes out. Whoo hoo for flushing!

Aren't they cute? Now I just need to get some water purification tabs and I'm all set for the robot takeover!!

Speaking of disaster preparedness- We're going on a road trip this weekend, and I really need to get packing. If you've ever traveled with 3 young kids in a car for 5 hours each way you'll know why this is a disaster. It's bad enough in my minivan, but we're driving in my parent's BRAND NEW car, so I'll have the 'fear of crushed goldfish in every available crevice' added to my 'fear of diaper blowout in the middle of nowhere' and 'fear of puking kids at the beginning of the trip so you have to smell it the whole time'. I know I have issues, but if those things hadn't already happened 5 times than I wouldn't be so concerned.

The trip is going to be a ton of fun and the kids have been looking forward to it since the day we left there last year, but Mr. Wright won't be able to join us this year since he has to work. It adds a million things to my to do list for this week, but it will be worth it. At least Mr. Wright will have plenty of water should an emergency arise. I'm sure he can handle life just fine without me, but for now I'm going to pretend that he really needs me around to take care of him... and wash his underwear.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Day 34- Hot & Sticky Milk

I was right about yesterday's sweltering temperatures- Anchorage broke the all time record by 6 degrees and we're usually warmer than they are! Luckily I knew right where the kids' summer clothes were because Mr. Wright has been using the plastic tote containing them as a nightstand. Yeah, we're classy like that... I'm still making no overall progress on my life, and I'd kill to be back at day 10 when at least my kitchen was clean. I took some 'before' pictures of my kitchen, but I'm not sure if I have the balls to post them or not. It's embarrassing, and I'm not even close to taking 'afters'.

Boo had some cocoa puffs for breakfast and spilled chocolaty milk all over the dining room table. In a classic Mrs. Wright move I didn't wipe it up, and the kids ended up having a picnic lunch in the living room because it was all sticky and dried on the table. If you promise that you won't judge I'll admit that it's still there... I know... I suck.

We spent the morning watching Mary Poppins which my kids hated. I know it isn't animated and overstimulating, but Sweetie Pie loves Hairspray, Mamma Mia, and Grease, so I thought she'd like the music. They acted like it was a punishment... I just don't want the kids that don't know anything about anything before their time. Plus I was hoping it would keep them from wanting to watch Spongebob 24/7. It didn't quite work out...

I'm off to do some more work on the house so that I can possibly post the before picture later. It won't look so bad if it's next to a sparkly after picture, right? Too bad I didn't take any pictures of the million loads of laundry I'm doing... at least I will have pants to wear to drop the kids off at school tomorrow- I'm sure everyone will be thankful for that!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Day 33- Buyer's Remorse

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, and I'm not a meteorologist or even someone who can spell meteorologist, but if these aren't record highs I don't know what is. 70 degrees, in Alaska, in May!? Too bad my whole house smells like a campfire since my neighbors were oh so kind enough to put their burn barrel right on the edge of my property and all my windows were open while I was gone for most of the day.

The Senorita, the kids and I spent the day garage sale hopping and buying more crap I don't need, mostly for the kids. It all seemed to be a good idea at the time, and I had no problem saying no to most of the suggested purchases like the iguana tank and tiny hooker boots. I got home and layed out all my purchases, because I'm a freak who feels the need to disinfect everything I buy at a yard sale. As I was cleaning everything I started to wonder why the heck I felt I needed 8 Mickey Mouse books. Little Man loves Mickey Mouse, but he loved him enough this morning before he had 8 new books. Why didn't I just buy one of the books? Where the heck am I going to put all the books? I think I failed garage saleing 101! I also failed spelling saleing (saling? sailing? sale-ing?)...

I did however find a Shelf Reliance Cansolidator for my pantry, and I think the lady may have thought I was a bit nuts when I admitted to dreaming about owning a Cansolidator at night. They're normally $45, and the shipping to Alaska is almost as much. I found it for SIX BUCKS, baby! Yeah!


It was dusty and dirty and has some kind of tomato paste accident, but it wiped up brand new, and I'm hoping to use it halfway soon when I reorganize my pantry and cross that off my someday list.

All in all today was a good day, even though I could barely walk from shredding it this morning and last night. I did watch the previews in bed and possibly some of the warm up, but I did level 2 so that should make up for it. I've actually accomplished quite a bit today, and I even showered! Now if only I had something planned for dinner...

Friday, May 1, 2009

Day 32- Today

I am feeling lazy.
I am in need of a shower.
I fed my kids PB&J on tortillas to avoid getting bread.
I read a sad blog for 2 hours that made me bawl like a baby.
I let my kids watch the same movie three times.
I watched my kids have the sweetest tea party ever on the living room floor.
I sat in something wet, and convinced myself that it was water.
I feel lonely.
I found things I haven't seen for a year, like my Turbo Jam.
I didn't brush my hair... or teeth.
I am supposed to be doing certain things that I am not doing.
I am trying to finish my to-do list from yesterday.
I wore pajamas- again.
I am sore from shredding.
I feel like the worst mommy in the world.
I want to feel inspired.
I owe the library some money... oops!
I WILL eat brownies.
I checked a cabinet off my 'someday' list.
I actually took before and afters.



I realized that I don't need anything in this cabinet, so I put some crap from my counters in there.
I need to get some sun.
I don't know what to make for dinner.
I found a new cell phone in my cabinet.
I'm hoping that I'll have more motivation to post something good tomorrow!

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