Thursday, June 25, 2009

Day 87- Alaskan Experiences

Library day... I haven't been to the library in quite a while and I finally got sick of the kids whining every time we drove by. I wanted to go too, but I had $4.50 in late fees that I never got around to paying. The freaking library is stuck in the 80's and doesn't have a credit card machine, and I NEVER have cash unless pennies count. Sticky pennies of course. In anticipation of library day I gathered my money from all the random places that I had seen a crumpled dollar and shoved it in my pocket.

I get the kids in the car, checked my mail, and headed to town. I was a few miles away from home when I noticed something moving in my peripheral vision and zeroed in on a nasty spider crawling down the door frame towards the dashboard. I wanted to pull over but there is no shoulder on the particular road I was on, and no side roads for a while. I started to hit him with my mail while driving down the road and I got him pretty good with one of the swats. I kept checking for his creepy spider legs on the envelope and they stayed there for a while until he was gone. All this time I'm driving down the road TRYING to stay between the lines and not alert my kids to the fact that we may just die because Mama is so freaked out by spiders that she's having trouble watching the road. I saw him running across the dashboard so I started to hit him with the second envelope and finally squashed him to the point of no return. Take that spidey!!

We arrived at the library with all three kids salivating at the thought of bringing home weird books (they always pick the strange 'what do YOU think it means?' books) but I was already pissed. Let me start by saying that our library has 8 parking spots. Yes, 8. Usually people park in the "museum" spots that are right there too so that brings the grand total to 12, 14 if you count handicap spots. It is hard to park there any day, but on Wednesday all hell breaks loose. About 15 feet from the last library parking spot is a tiny historical block of town that now holds the Wednesday market. I actually remembered that it was market day ahead of time, but knew that it started at noon and I left at 10:30.

Unfortunately when I got there I learned that they changed the opening of the market to 11am, and it was now 10:45. I was lucky enough to get the last library parking spot right next to the market and we proceeded to the library. The visit was pretty uneventful except for me being "that lady" when my cell phone rang every five minutes for the entire 30 minutes we were there. Boo was getting tired and cranky so we got out of there before it turned into a screaming wrestling match to the tune of my ringing phone.

We got to the van and Boo snapped. She was screaming, hitting, and arching her back making it impossible to buckle her into her carseat. I had no choice but to gently shove her into her seat while I buckled her in, and yell over her screaming to command the older kids to sit down and buckle up. I was almost in a sweat and about to cry myself by the time I had all three buckled and halfway not crying. I back my butt out of the side door of the van and turn around to realize that a freaking TOUR BUS is parked 10 feet from my van and every person on board has witnessed my awesome parenting. They sure got their Alaskan experience alright and some scenery too when I was backing out of the van!

If anyone knows someone who took a Royal Celebrity tour in Wasilla yesterday please give them my apologies. I should really buy a belt!

2 Thoughts From Others:

Amber said...

Oh you poor dear!

1st--I am all too familiar with the crack show. Or should I say those around me are. :) It's getting better, but still.

2nd--You are brave for going to the library with 3 kids!!

3rd--Why didn't you put your phone on vibrate!?

4th--When Saylor was a baby {no relevance really} I was taking my first venture out with both girls. I got to a very busy street and thought I felt something crawling in my hair. I open the mirror, and see a WASP crawling down my forehead!! I jumped OUT of the car & brushed it off. It went in the back seat and landed on Saylor!! OH MY GOSH. I freaked. But luckily got him out of the car. Yikes!

Lastly, I'll tell my mother in law that you're part of the wildlife. :)

Anonymous said...

What was a tour bus doing at the Wednesday market? Unless it's improved a lot since I was there last, it's not a highlight of the area. And how did they fit a tour bus in that tiny parking lot? We're going to the library tomorrow. Wish us luck. Did you get your summer reading program form so you, I mean your kids can earn nasty, greasy Carl's Jr. fries??

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