Day 31- Shreds Of Motivation

I actually DID the workout today!! Show of hands- who's impressed!? I know I am... I was skeptical at the beginning and didn't think I'd ever get shredded doing "butt kicks", but by the third time I was wanted to kick my own butt for letting Jillian Michaels charge me money for this whoopin'. I did find it very challenging to stand back up after you get the 'break' of laying on the ground for the ab work, but I made it through. I also used a bottle of hand lotion instead of hand weights because it had 'hand' in the name. That and it's too hot out for hot pockets.

I picked this picture because it's the only one that was possibly okay to post on the internet, and because my feet look like I was doing something really fast, which I can assure you I wasn't ;) Oh yeah, and I'm a genius who thought to shove the dvd in Mr. Wright's PS3 and hope that it doesn't jam. It worked, and after pushing every single button on the video game controller I even got it to play...



On a related note I really need to vacuum, and possibly have the carpets cleaned. You never really realize what your carpet is really like until you find dog hair and a random cheese chunk stuck to the sweaty face after you've passed out taken a power rest face down in it. I did empty the dishwasher and clean up the counters a tiny bit.

At least I can now check 'Finally do the freaking workout dvd you've been meaning to do for 3 weeks' off my list. Really it's a fake list so that no one can hold me accountable. I did, however, make a real list today of things that I want to do 'someday' but never really have time to do. I have a cupboard that I haven't opened in at least a year, and I have no idea what's really in there. I do know that my Turbo Jam is in there somewhere, but that's probably why I haven't opened it in so long. Someday I need to look through these magazines, someday this needs to be sewed, someday I need to wax these... oh... I mean... back to the list. I have tons of things that I'd like to get done 'someday' and I've decided that it's time to at least do ONE of them. Even if I work on something 5 minutes a day it's still progress. Anyone want to join the someday project train? Anyone!??

Day 30- Watch, Don't Learn

I thought that if I actually opened my 30 Day Shred DVD the Extreme Makeover: Me Edition ladies wouldn't disown me. Since I'm so desperate for friends I wasn't looking forward to telling them that once again I didn't do a thing to better my body this week. My sister Senorita Snarkalicious told me that she always watches a workout DVD first before trying it, so I thought I could even get crazy and watch the darn thing after I finally popped the plastic. She happened to be driving around aimlessly as she often does (don't believe when she tries to disagree in the comments) so she came over to watch it with me.

I remembered that my dvd player is broken from Boo shoving too many movies/crackers/credit cards into it, but The Senorita had the great idea to watch it on my laptop. We turned it on and I started to get tired just watching it... plus I needed a snack. I was showing examples of how I DON'T have the muscles to even attempt these moves and she snapped a few pics of my version of the crazy moves they expect you to do. Please don't try any of these moves at home as you'll look as dumb as I did, and that perfect fall picture IS real.

Supposedly an ab exercise, but I got stuck too far back-


Combining 'jazz hands' and stretching-


Badly executing some kind of kick-


Me and my 5 chins afterward-


We also had a text/Facebook discussion with our cousin about whether or not Hot Pockets can be substituted for the hand weights. I say yes, but our cousin said to start with the Lean Pockets to not strain. I may not have hand weights, but I didn't see anything on the DVD case about not using hot pockets...

To make this an official EMME link I am supposed to post a healthy recipe, but if I had a healthy recipe I wouldn't have to work out so much, and I would have eaten it right before watching the DVD instead of the big cheez-its and orange soda. At least the DVD is open now- babysteps, babysteps.

Day 29- Burnt Out

Last night after the kids went to bed I was very excited to enjoy my first artichoke of the season. I put some water in the pan, put the artichoke in, and fell into bloggy land catching up on everything. The timer was set for 30 minutes, but right around the 29 minute mark the smoke appeared- the water had all evaporated and I was 'boiling' an artichoke in no water. I have a VERY sensitive smoke detector, and a tendency to burn things so I was terrified that I was going to wake up the kids and scare the crap out of them just to enjoy a snack.

Of course this isn't the first time that I've set off the smoke detectors making a simple food item, and it probably isn't even the 10th time. When Sweetie Pie moved to her new room downstairs it didn't yet have a smoke detector, and the moment she noticed that she started jumping for joy. When I asked her why she was so excited to not have one she told me that "now I'll have a place to hide when you cook bacon" and even went as far as to get Little Man involved and play 'Mommy's cooking bacon' where Sweetie Pie imitated the alarm noise while Little Man fanned the smoke detector with a broom. Anyway, back to the saga...

I quickly turned on the exhaust fan, opened every window in the living room and kitchen, and started preventative fanning of the smoke detector with a wonder mop. Mr. Wright sat on the couch hardly glancing in my direction as this is all a bit too normal for me. When a bit of the smoke cleared I left my post under the smoke detector to deal with the main issue. I pulled the lid off the pan to release another big gush of smoke which prompts me to run the pan outside and leave it on the deck. I brought the artichoke inside and cut off the charred bottom and ate it... what? I was really, really wanting one! After I enjoyed my buttery snack I had a BIT of cleaning up to do. After all, I couldn't really leave my smoldering Pampered Chef saucepan outside all night! She belongs to a family, and that cookware family has been my baby for a while now.

I used to sell Pampered Chef stuff, and Mr. Wright knew that if he even tried to stir something with a fork or cut meat open in my pans that it was means for divorce. He never understood that people wouldn't want to buy their own cookware sets if they saw mine all sliced up and scratched. It is quite ironic that I am the one that probably killed Old Trusty, the most-used of the three saucepan sizes. She's been enjoying a bubble bath all night, but I doubt I can revive her. RIP Saucy...



After this whole mess I was ready for bed, but I realized that I needed to do a survival load of dishes. We didn't have any plates, cups, or spoons, and the family just doesn't think there is anything fun about eating cereal with forks- lame, right!? Excuse me for trying to spice life up a bit! So for those of you keeping score I know have a burnt saucepan that needs more scrubbing, and a sink full of random dishes that didn't make it into the survival load, plus all the other crap on my counters. Brace yourselves, but I'm thinking of cleaning up a bit today. Maybe I'll even get around to cracking the shrink wrap on the 30 Day Shred!! Yeah... I doubt it too...

Friend Making Mondays

It's time again for me to make new friends, or a single friend would even do... it's Friend Making Mondays with Kasey at All That Is Good! Today's challenge is to name 4 things you like and 1 thing you dislike with each of the 5 senses. Jump over to Kasey's awesome blog to see what everyone else picked...



Sight
Like:
The breeze in the grass
My kids wrestling playfully
My kids hugging each other just because
A clean kitchen
Dislike:
Those sad starving kid commercials

Smell
Like:
Warm brownies
Clean Laundry
Lemon Windex
Rebecca's candle crumbles
Dislike:
Mildewy towels or clothes

Sound
Like:
kids giggling
cashiers telling me my savings
I love you's from ANYONE, lol
silence
Dislike:
that kid-just-got-really-really-hurt cry

Taste
Like:
the brownies I was smelling earlier
cheese fondue
hot cocoa on a cold day
pretty much anything with salt
Dislike:
meat that isn't chicken

Touch
Like:
sand
baby feet
hair right after a haircut
warm lotion
Dislike:
that nasty gunk that doesn't go down the kitchen drain and needs to be fished out

Day 28- Apocalypse Now

I'm not sure why I've been so concerned lately, but the fact that there is a volcano erupting and a swine flu outbreak isn't really helping my overall satisfaction with my plans for the apocalypse. Yes, I know I'm crazy, but admitting that I'm a nutball isn't really going to help me in a giant earthquake or alien attack, is it? Senorita Snarkalicious thinks I have a problem, but I don't think that anyone will see a problem with me opening up my 5 first aid kits when the giant spiders come to eat our brains. My friend Brandy, who I'm thinking of referring to as Mrs. Awesome because she is so awesome, brought me some awesome food storage so I'm going to be rocking the bean soup mix and chomping on some dehydrated carrots once the rabid monkeys are loose... that is until my family and I somehow travel to her house to share some 35 year old candy.

I am still working out the kinks on a few other details (like WATER!) but I'm planning on getting together a group of a few ladies that want to be a bit more prepared and having a productive girls night. I've been slowly stockpiling flashlights and other little things so that I can at least read a magazine when the power goes out, and I've been talking to the kids about age appropriate emergency preparedness. I found some great information with a Sesame Street spin on it at Let's Get Ready! which is targeted at 3-5 year olds that gives info without being too scary. I also found some great instructions for 72 hour kits at Food Storage Made Easy that use empty milk jugs to hold contents to last 72 hours in an emergency.



I hope to never use any of my supplies, but I'll sleep better knowing that when the ninjas turn on us I'll have bandaids and neosporin for a crowd!

Day 27- Taking A Break

The fundraiser for Caitlin went very well, and the goal was met and surpassed! I'm so happy for Caitlin and her whole family! I'm pretty worn out today from actually doing something yesterday so I'm taking the day off from blogging. Technically I am still blogging, but don't go getting me all confused about what I am or am not doing. I'm hoping to continue my journey to be a real grownup tomorrow, but for today I just want to curl up with a blanket and snooze the weekend away :)

Day 26- Felt Food Picnic Set

Tonight is the big night for Caitlin, and the food is all packed up and ready to go. I really hope whoever wins this item will really enjoy it. I know my poor kids are sad to see it go... I see more picnic baskets and food in my future I guess.

If you're local please join us tonight at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Wasilla (across from Wasilla Middle School) from 4-7 PM. There will be a taco dinner, kids activities and games, and over 75 silent auction items. Tickets are available at the door ($6 adults, $4 kids aged 4-10) and you'll be able to see the best felt picnic set in the auction live and in person ;) Hope to see you there!

Day 25- Beanie Babies

Since I'm a slacker I have no real creative aspirations of my own that haven't been stolen from a book, magazine, or blog. This activity in particular was stolen from Flipflops and Applesauce, a wonderful blog that I've been keeping up with. I had to buy the balloons, but the black beans and black eyed peas were from the pantry. The only balloons I could find were the small kind, so we made mini bean balls instead. You're supposed to blow up the balloons first to stretch them out, but I'm actually unable to blow up balloons- Mr. Wright was trying to instruct me, but it just wasn't happening. He blew up a few and had to leave, so we brought out the trusty mattress pump. The kids thought pumping the balloons and playing in the beans was way better than making the balls anyway. I'm totally blown away by how long 3 kids can play with one bowl of beans, but if you try this at home be prepared to find them everywhere. Boo had 5 black beans and 4 black eyed peas aboard her diaper after this activity... And yes, my kids are wearing a variety of outfits as always, including a Christmas dress and a ballet leotard. I like to encourage no extra laundry.









You'd think the beans all over my house would encourage me to vacuum, but you'd be wrong. I'm in a slump, a MAJOR slump, and I just can't get it together like I had it a mere 10 days ago. I have 5 things that I HAVE to do as soon as possible, but I just can't get motivated to make the time. I don't even want to post them here for fear that someone would actually hold me accountable.

I have been keeping my head above water dishes-wise, and Senorita Snarkalicious even came over and did my dishes last night because she's awesome. And she brought me pie, which is double-y awesome. My kids' rooms no longer have visible floors, Mt. Washmore is rising, Mr. Wright had to ask three times yesterday for me to wash his pants, and I have no clue what I'm making for dinner. My counters are covered in junk, and I haven't even started on the 5 things that I HAVE to do... I just feel over my head with it all.

Everywhere I turn there is one more thing that needs to get done, plus those pesky kids with their darn eating and emotional needs still need attention too. I'm not even going to post the current status of my hair, but it's safe to say it has reached 'I've been living in a cave' levels. I don't understand why every other woman in the world can invite people over without apologizing, or look in a mirror without grimacing. I just want to be one of them.

I'm fine at maintaining a clean house, but it's like a golf ball on a tee- as long as I'm focusing all my energy on keeping it straight I'll be fine, but the second I tip or get a gust of wind in my direction the whole thing comes toppling down. Sorry to be such a downer today, but since this blog was originally chronicling how much I suck at this whole "responsible adult" thing I thought it was only fair to expose these recent shortcomings. For now I'm just going to wallow with some pie, and keep all my faith in Our Lady of the Blankie, Miss Boo.

Day 24- 1955's Idea of a Good Wife

I came across this article and was SHOCKED that this was the way that some of our mothers and grandmothers were to behave. Mr. Wright is lucky if he doesn't get handed a screaming, poopy baby and asked to make dinner while I run out the front door looking for the nearest padded room.

This reeked of something I needed to check out on Snopes, so I did a quick search and it is listed as undetermined, but there is a photocopy of the 'actual' article there.



From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Mrs. Wright says: I can understand this one as everyone needs to eat, but I hardly think that the Kraft macaroni I make for Mr. Wright screams "I've been thinking about you and am concerned for your needs".


* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Mrs. Wright says: I didn't get that fancy for my wedding. If I wasn't so busy thinking about him and being concerned for his macaroni needs maybe I'd look more rested.


* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Mrs. Wright says: I don't think anyone would argue with the fact that I'm always a little gay, but I'm never interesting. I think Mr. Wright would rather I not talk over Sportcenter anyway.


* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Mrs. Wright says: I totally run through the main part of the house before his arrival, but usually it's because I'm chasing a peeing toddler or checking for Target purchases that need to be hidden. And sometimes I even wipe off the table before he gets home to remove the evidence that we had Cocoa Pebbles for lunch.


* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Mrs. Wright says: I'm great at starting fires, only we don't have a fireplace. Our home isn't really a haven when the smoke detector is drowning out the too-loud Sportscenter so I wouldn't exactly say it gives me a lift. And I do have immense feelings about catering to his comfort, but it isn't really satisfaction...


* Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Mrs. Wright says: We never really have to worry about the washer, dryer or vacuum being too noisy as they tend to only be noisy when running. If you don't run them, there's no noise. Problem solved. As for the children... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? If it worked to encourage them to be quiet don't you think I would have 'encouraged' that 8 hours ago??


* Be happy to see him.

Mrs. Wright says: I'm always happy to see him because sometimes he brings home Burger King. He's also the only person I live with that stops asking for things for 10 seconds to wait for a response.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Mrs. Wright says: This sounds like some kind of strange fantasy of Mr. Wright's. I would have thought he wrote this whole article if there were one or two more 'rules' involving things that weren't spoken about then, lol!


* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Mrs. Wright says: Excuse me!? HIS topics are more important than MINE!? No one cares which minor leaguer Jim Rome interviewed today but the people want to know about Brangelina!!


* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Mrs. Wright says: Is "there's a really bad smell and I can't figure out where or who it's coming from" a complaint, or a problem?


* Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Mrs. Wright says: I'm sure work must have really sucked, but I have bad days too and they don't really justify me hanging out with a bunch of Thunder Down Under 'dancers'. Nice try 1955 guys. And I suppose it's MY job to get the mysterious lipstick off their 1955 twill suit with my crappy 1955 washing machine so that they can possibly have a bad day at work tomorrow and stay out again with a 1955 skank? I don't think so misters...


* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Mrs. Wright says: Are you sure he doesn't want his 1955 skank to lie him down in bed?


* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Mrs. Wright says: Mr.Wright has the kids trained to take off his socks when he gets home, but I get the joy of picking up said socks and taking them to their home in the LAUNDRY pile. It's not rocket science people! I usually reserve the low, soothing voice for admitting the dollar amount that I spent at Joann fabrics.

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

Mrs. Wright says: Luckily the law says I do have a right to question him, and if he's still with that skank then I have the right to the house, cars, and kids as well :) God Bless America!

* A good wife always knows her place.

Mrs. Wright says: I sure do know my place, and it's not 2 steps behind my husband attending to his every whim. Plus Mr. Wright never knows where to put anything, so I'd have to show him where to "put" me anyway.

Day 23- Three Little Things

Item One:
Today is Earth Day, and I think I'm the only blogger on the planet that isn't planting some sort of garden or making a car out of milk cartons. I did recycle my Safeway coupon by turning it in to get a free recycled tote bag though. I'm also doing my part by not purchasing things that come in lots of packaging, mainly cleaning supplies like mops and sponges...

Item Two:
For those of you who don't know, I live in Wasilla, Alaska. Yep, Sarah Palin USA. Unfortunately if I was stranded in an ocean and there was a democrat boat and a republican boat I'd have to jump on the democrat boat... and my Dad would be yelling at me from the republican boat about gun control. Anyway, I think it's neat that a year ago NO ONE who didn't live here even knew Wasilla existed, and now people at least know we're here.

Besides following Bristol & Tripp around Target (I had to make sure it was her so I could tell everyone!) and Mr. Wright seeing Matt Lauer and his entourage at the grocery store it's been pretty much business as usual for us around here. I love living in Wasilla, but I always wonder how many people wanted to put an Obama sticker on their car but feared for their tires. I know I did! I was shopping at Walmart this morning and saw the funniest thing- I just had to buy it so I could come home and take a picture. Plus it was only $.67!



Look how many times it was clearanced!! I bet I was the first one to even touch it in months... maybe I'll make Senorita Snarkalicious something with it, lol!

Item Three:
I should be posting about Extreme Makeover- Me Edition, but I really just want to cry. I still haven't cracked the plastic on my 30 day shred dvd, and I'm starting to think my exercise plan would fit in better with a 30 day dead plan. I don't like to move much...

Amber's EMME question of the week is about the kind of music that I like to workout to. I think I've made it clear that there isn't a lot of movement happening, but I do like to think about working out when I hear Just Dance by Lady Gaga and that Let It Rock song with the yelling. You know, the bang bang music my dad always told me about... Poor dad, he's getting a bad wrap today! Hopefully I'll do better next week. At least I slowed down the Easter candy consumption a bit- that's ALMOST like exercising, right!?

Day 22- Creativity

Wow! I made a ton of new friends yesterday... I guess I need to post hotties on my blog more. I had twice the normal amount of visits. Does that mean that twice as many people would rather look at cute boys than read about how dirty my house is?? How could THAT be? Unfortunately my post today is not about guys, but about what creativity means in my house...

I love crafty stuff, but I don't really connect crafty with creativity. Creativity to me is making a dinner out of a can of tuna, frozen corn, some rice, and strawberry jello. It's been done. Little Man shows his creative side by asking such brainbusters as 'Do ghosts have butts?' and 'Will this rock make shaky sounds in my tummy if I eat it?'. Sweetie Pie loves to draw and displays her creative side by drawing one circle on EVERY single piece of paper in the printer. She also gets creative when I don't do laundry. This picture is my 5 year old wearing almost 2 year old Boo's pants like capris. See!? Creativity!!! (Don't look at the mess behind her!)



I've been super busy procrastinating so I don't have any new felt food yet, but I really need to get going. On a good note I did actually do my dishes today (twice) and have some laundry going that will hopefully make it to the dryer today. I don't want to move too quickly on the laundry or I might pull a muscle. I also watched a video about spring cleaning your sewing machine and did that as well! I got really tired after all that cleaning business and just opened the windows to let the rest of the stank out. Hopefully it will smell like I left the couch today when Mr. Wright gets home from work. Until I make the fish sticks for dinner that is...

Day 21- Makin' Friends and Feeling Felt-astic

I'm not really sure how all this "blog friends" business works, but I like making friends. I especially like making friends with people who aren't going to drop by and judge my domesticness, or lack there of, and yes, I did make up the word domesticness- don't hate. Anyhoo, it involves making new friends and searching for celebrity hotties on photobucket, so I'm definitely on board! Andrea at My Chihuahua Bites is hosting Making Friends Monday today, and I made sure that her chihuahua doesn't really bite. I also had to spell that 15 times before I got even close to something that Firefox would recognize as a word.

Her question for this week is: Who are your top five celebrity crushes? What celebrities make you drool?


In no particular order...



Channing Tatum! His new movie is Fighting, and Mr. Wright wants to see it for all those fighting parts. I just want to look at him. Mr. Wright laughed when I quickly agreed to accompany him to a violent fighting movie.





Ben Affleck 10 years ago! He is one of the few teenage crushes that still somewhat holds up. He's okay now, but better then.





Josh Duhamel! (Firefox couldn't help me spell that unfortunately!) I like tall pretty boys, so he sure fits the bill! On a side note I stole the Ben and Josh pics from the same user on photobucket. Maybe she wants to be my friend!



George Stults! I'm not sure if he's extra appealing because he was such a nice character on 7th Heaven or just because he's so hot, but I'll take him either way!



Clean shaven Patrick Dempsey! I'm not lovin' the full beard and grumpy demeanor of his character on Grey's, so I'm picking Sweet Home Alabama Patrick instead!

Whew... that took a lot out of me! Uh oh! Blood! Gotta go!

Ok, I'm back! Just a nosebleed from Sweetie Pie. Onto the felt food! I've spent the whole weekend making the little picnic basket to hold the felt food for Caitlin's Fundraiser. I finally finished it last night and couldn't be more pleased! Now I just have to get the rest of the food done. I know my family is really hoping that I'm going to make some REAL food soon. I'll think about it...



Ugg, Little Man just got hit in the head with a block. If we don't make a trip to the ER today I'll be thankful!

Day 20- Totally Off The Wagon

I'm finding this blog is a lot harder to write when I don't really have any accomplishments to write about. The current state of my kitchen is too darn close to a "How Clean Is Your House" kitchen and I'm seeing dishes that I don't even recognize. I did empty the sink yesterday but didn't empty the dishwasher once I ran it, so I'm back to square one. I've been doing a craft project that has consumed every second of my free time and every inch of my dining room table. The kids ate their macaroni chili lunch at the counter because there was no room at the table where they normally eat.



They got macaroni chili because I only had one box of macaroni and one can of "jalapeño hot" chili, so I turned it into lunch. I even added a granola bar for extra fun. I'm not sure how Boo's digestive system feels about jalapeño hot chili, but since I cloth diaper I have a horrible feeling that I'm soon finding out. If anyone knows how to sanitize a washing machine I'm taking ideas ;)

I'm short on time today so I'll just give the basic rundown...

Showering? Yes, I just got one in at 4pm
Laundry? Mr. Wright decided it was time for me to finally wash some things, so I did one load and stopped.
Dishes? No, thank you
Good wife? I washed his clothes! What more could he want!?
Good mom? We got out a few games that have been hidden (lost) since Christmas and they've been keeping busy since then. They also played outside today and I realized that I hate the smell of dirt on kids. Darn fresh air!

Day 19- Random Questions

Did God made Fritos greasy so that you can't get Easter candy open afterwards?

Why does every ugly gift remain in perfect condition after multiple washings but my cute Easter themed tablecloth gets ripped to shreds the first time I wash it?

How is it that every time my kids dress themselves they pick the strangest combination? Little Man wore a long sleeve collared shirt and basketball shorts today... you'd think they would SOMETIMES match.

Am I the only one that vacuums crumbs off the table when I already have the vacuum out? It is that much better to collect all the crumbs first and then vacuum the floor?

I know I buy some random things sometimes, but does Mr. Wright really need his own badminton racket? Really?

Why don't more places have drive throughs? I'm going to open a drive through video rental, hairdresser, post office, grocery store, and tanning salon. :P It's an all in one so you never even have to get out of your car. I'm still working out the in-vehicle tanning/haircut kinks. So I'm really lazy... quit judging me!

Dirty Little Secrets, Slacker Edition

I've been trying to do dirty little secrets on Fridays, but since I was such a mess yesterday I didn't get around to it. That should be a dirty little secret of its own...

-I try not to listen to the words of songs on the radio because it usually makes me cry. Commercials make me cry, movies make me cry, and don't even get me started on soldier homecomings.

- A bird pooped on my windshield a few weeks ago in that tiny widow's peak thing at the top that the wipers can't get to. It's still there because I'm too cheap to go to the carwash during Alaska'a muddy breakup time.

- I spent 2 hours last night making ONE felt banana. This is going to be harder than I thought...

- I literally swept some dirt under the rug yesterday because I didn't want to drag the vacuum downstairs.

- The dishes have stacked up so much that I can't see the division of the two sinks and it just looks like one huge sink full of nasty plates and cups.

- I have a full gallon of milk that needs to be drank asap so I'm going to put some chocolate syrup in it.

- I've typed this whole post from my bed :)

What's your dirty little secret? Remember that you can post anonymously if it's too good to claim it!

Day 18- Falling Apart

I'm falling apart today... I've got a million things to do and I'm getting nothing accomplished. I did finally get all the ground beef cooked, but I trashed my kitchen in the process. I didn't even leave any cooked meat out for dinner. At one point today I was motivated enough to load the dishwasher only to find that it was full of dirty dishes because captain jammie pants forgot to run it last night. I noticed that it was still full about 6 hours ago, but I still haven't run it. There's stuff all over the counters and I swear that I set one thing down and next thing I know the counter tops are missing. My living room also recently looked like this:



It's safe to say that my kids were entertained but I've still got a few things left on my list today. My mom is coming over later to help me hand sew all the felt food closed and I haven't even started making them. I should really be doing that now but instead I'm doing my part to keep the Easter candy industry in business. Target should really warn people about the dangers of 75% off candy. I'm no mathematician but I instantly multiply the 75% off price by four to get the original price, and then buy four packages of everything. I am aware that people are allowed to only purchase one of the items but I have a sickness... or I just like candy math. If only the after-Easter candy was also reduced to 75% of the original calories! That's some candy math I'd really get into!

Speaking of getting healthy (yes, I know I wasn't really speaking of that), I've decided that the week after is Easter is hardly the week to try and get healthy. The closest thing to healthy that this family gets is eating the wheat bread from Walmart. The fact alone that picky Mr. Wright and my kids would eat wheat bread suggests that it's probably not wheat bread at all. Nothing against Walmart brand, but I'm fairly sure that it's cheap white bread that is dyed brown. I'm too scared to read the list of ingredients, but why else would my kids like it!? Plus it's only $1.19 a loaf, so I buy a bunch and freeze them. Nothing says health like frostburnt brown bread! And in case anyone's wondering the shrink wrap on the 30 Day Shred DVD is still intact, but I don't think anyone's surprised...

Day 17- I'm fweakin out!

Little Man recently brought to my attention the fact that I have a bit of a language issue. He was outside in shorts (in 40 degree weather) and told me that he wanted some pants because his legs were "freaking cold". Technically he said "fweakin cold" but you get the picture. Sure, he could have used some other words that I've let slip more times than I'd care to admit, but I'm still not crazy about my almost 4 year old saying "fweakin". Sweetie Pie is 5 and we recently had a talk about how 'crap' isn't a bad word, but not really one I want coming out of her mouth. It would probably sink in more if I didn't use it a million times a day, usually when I realize all the cleaning I still have to do. Maybe I could use this as my new excuse why I haven't broken the plastic on my Jillian Michael's DVD- I'm sure it isn't going to be pretty language-wise.

In other points of interest I've been doing a great job with listing the things I need to, but not so great at checking them off. Last night was the first night since I started this blog that I went to bed with dishes in the sink and crap, uh... I mean stuff, all over the counters. I had made a huge mess between cooking 9 pounds of the ground beef and making dinner and never really got around to cleaning it up. I'm not sure if I can feel myself slipping back into my old ways or if that's just leftover grease from yesterday. Maybe I'll get around to wiping that up later...

Naptime is right around the corner (you may picture me jumping for joy now) and I have big plans to clean the kitchen, start prepping dinner, move the laundry along and start on the felt food for Caitlin's fundraiser. All I want to do is take a nap and pretend I'm not doing well on The Biggest Loser's temptation challenge. I also want to delve into my new book which I have shown extreme willpower with by not staying up until 5am reading it cover to cover.

Since I share everything else it may be time to talk about my Tori Spelling obsession. I have never seen an episode of 90210 and don't really like Lifetime movies, but I LOVE watching Tori & Dean on Oxygen. I read her first book sTori Telling last summer and couldn't put it down. This time it's Mommywood, and I'm trying very hard to get my chores done before I crack it open. Laugh at me if you must, but I love Tori just as much as the gay guys.



Senorita Snarkalicious (aka my sister who wanted a 'code' name) and I were at Target the very morning it came out so I could beat the crowds and get my copy. Of course I'm joking and didn't even see another person in the whole book section, but I know the other fans are out there. Maybe they were home showering like normal people...showoffs!

Day 16- Helping Caitlin

Today I wanted to write about my little friend Caitlin Racenet. She is 3 years old and suffers from Tuberous Sclerosis Complex, a non-curable disease that causes tumors to grow in major body organs. Caitlin has several brain tumors that cause a severe, difficult to control seizure disorder. Stress & excitement cause over stimulation in Caitlin, which in turn cause more frequent seizures. A day of 6 seizures is considered a very good day for her. There have been days with 24-30 seizures. At this time, it is difficult for her to even go to the grocery store, let alone playdates and preschool.



Caitlin has been approved for a seizure assistance dog. This dog will hopefully allow Caitlin relief with her anxiety & over-stimulation, along with giving her family peace of mind in alarming them, & hopefully someday detecting, Caitlin's seizures. The dog should help calm Caitlin in stressful situations, easing the burden on her nervous system. The organization can be found at www.4pawsforability.org. The dog will be especially trained for Caitlin's seizure & sensory needs. You can read more about Caitlin on her Mom's blog HERE, or in our local newspaper HERE.

I met her mom last summer and had no idea what that woman goes through everyday. Recently I became aware of Caitlin's diagnosis and knew I had to do something to help. I volunteered to help with the fundraiser dinner and I'm making some fun felt food for the silent auction. As a mother with three healthy children I can't help but want to reach out to this family.

Each family has a fundraising requirement in order to be placed with a dog. Their requirement is $11,000. If it is within your heart to donate, all donations are tax-deductible. Anything you could donate to this family it would help so much, or even blogging to spread the word about this sweet, little girl. You can donate by scrolling to the bottom of the All For Caitlin blog and either clicking the Paypal link or mailing a check to the 4 Paws For Ability charity. Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers, and thank you for reading her story!

Extreme Makeover- Me Edition

So here we go again with the scary did I or didn't I exercise post... It's actually only scary because I know that following my kids from egg to egg but then sharing in their treasures (and two 'dinners') doesn't really count as exercise. I neither got jammed or shredded, but there's always this week, right? I did switch the family from Country Time lemonaid to Crystal Light, so this week wasn't a TOTAL failure... that's almost like drinking water! Don't tell my kids.

So the big question is what am I going to do to get back on track? Well, you saw it here first, and I'm COMMITTING to doing both the Turbo Jam and 30 Day Shred videos this week, along with drinking more Crystal Light and no soda. If you see me around town looking a little pudgy in my yoga pants and drinking a coke you'll know that it's probably not the best time to ask how my new workout plan is going. I also commit to not eating more calories than there are minutes of the show while watching The Biggest Loser. We watch right after dinner, but today I scarfed down THREE Dipps bars and some Jello jigglers. I can already feel the jigglers in my thighs... *sigh!* What is it about that show that makes me so darn hungry!?

Check in with all the other ladies coping with their Easter diet disasters here, or click on my cute veggie button on the right sidebar!

Day 15- Check Yourself

Today was actually quite productive on the cleaning front. You'd never know it by the look of my kitchen counters, but all of my kids' rooms got cleaned today, and not just throw your stuff in that box and hide it in the closet cleaning. I actually put the stuff away in the labeled bins that they came from. At one point or another I've pretty much organized everything, but as I've discussed before I lack the follow through of returning the items or instructing my children on returning items to their 'home'.

Boo didn't even know I was cleaning her room, Little Man came in every few minutes to see if I had unearthed anything else he wanted to drag out, and Sweetie Pie "cleaned" her dollhouse while I did the rest of the room. I even sorted the ponies by color. I am pretty sure I have this strange OCD condition where I have regular OCD but am usually too lazy to execute the things my brain wants. Sweetie Pie thought it was pretty cool that they were all by families because they were all the same color. I used this as a Super Mommy moment to tell her that families can be made of all kinds of people and colors. She informed me that Barack Obama and Joe Biden are a family of different colors, even though they live in the White House. I'd say that's pretty good for five years old, so I let it slide :)



I tried a new technique today of writing all my chores on a plastic divider with a dry erase marker and checking them off as I did them. I really need that instant gratification of checking things off:

Pants are on? Check!
Fed kids? Check!
Check off things I've done? Check!
Shower? Eh, there's always tomorrow...



You can see why it takes me a while to get things accomplished. I'm still battling Mt. Washmore, and poor Boo is back in disposables again, but I'm slowly getting there. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to check a lot more off my list. Maybe I should put reading Perezhilton.com or eating ice cream on there and I'd be sure to check that off!

Day 14- Corndog Millionaire

I finally got around to cleaning out my freezer today- who knew there were so many different kinds of fries? Apparently I did at one point because my freezer is practically an Oreida plant. I knew it was time for some cleaning when I got home from the store and couldn't even put the groceries away. For some reason I have total control over my HUGE chest freezer, but that tiny vertical freezer next to my fridge is jam packed with every kind of mystery meat you can imagine. Apparently labeling meat is not my strong suit. I also felt the need to save one corndog in a plastic bag. One. I guess I was planning on splitting it between my kids when we play the fun game I call the 'mommy didn't make dinner so we have to eat unhealthy, prepackaged, frost-burnt food from the bottom of the freezer game'. See? We have family game night too, just like the Super Mommies! I think the kids would enjoy the game more if we didn't eat PLANNED unhealthy, prepackaged, frost-burnt food all the other days.

The after picture- almost like a normal fridge!


Our icemaker doesn't work because we've never found the 3 cent part that will connect my water line and the fridge. When people come over they always go for the icemaker and I have to stand there watching them wait for ice and then point out that the ice and water dispenser is just for show. I don't let them know that while they've been holding down the ice button the metal blade in the ice maker has been ripping apart my secret ice cream that I keep in there, but some things are just meant to never be spoken.

The contents of the freezer got me thinking, of course, why the heck do I have all this crap anyway? When Grandma hands you a package of rope sausage and says "Can you put this in the garbage or take it home?" I think 99 percent of people would put it in the garbage. I'm sure you've realized that I wouldn't be telling this story if I was part of that 99 percent. That nasty sausage has been in my freezer for months, but only because I thought Mr. Wright would like it and he looked at me like I was bringing him sausage from the garbage or something. Sheesh! :P

I seem to be attracted to clearance meat, but then freeze it immediately and never want to make it after it's been frozen. I like the simplicity of cooking fresh meat, then freezing it for later- I buy it when it's on sale, cook it, then freeze it. That way I usually have whatever I need when I actually get organized enough to do a meal plan. Today there was a great sale on ground beef, so I bought 24 pounds to cook and freeze. Meat is so expensive, especially in Alaska, so I had to really stock up! The 'Lower 48' Coupon Mommies would probably cringe at the 'great sale price' of the ground beef, but I haven't found anyone willing to fly me up some $.99/lb beef yet. (Applications are being accepted!) Hopefully I'll be able to get a menu together now that I know what I have in the freezer, but at least I know we can have 24 straight days of Hamburger Helper! That is, after I clean out the pantry of course...

Day 13- A Bowl Full of Bellyjeans

Happy Easter everyone! My kids have been counting down for days, but Little Man was especially excited yesterday when he asked me if the Easter Bunny would be leaving him some bellyjeans. I can't stand those moms who constantly gloat about their kids, but that is pretty darn cute in my book. I'm sure everyone is a bit busy today to read how much I suck (let's just say that I could have hidden 100 eggs in my laundry pile without anyone knowing) but I wanted to share our morning egg hunt pictures:

Little Man searching away:


Boo enjoying the fruits of her labor:


Sweetie Pie showing off her loot:


The current state of my living room:


The little ATM's the Easter Bunny brought us:

(stay tuned for a future post about my new reward/punishment system... I'm a little too excited to charge my kids for being naughty!)

The reason I stayed up until midnight filling eggs, hiding all sorts of goodies, and making scavenger hunt clues:

Day 12- Poop Or Chocolate?

I'm fairly sure that every mom comes to a crossroad where she has to make a crucial judgement call- what is the true identity of that brown smudge? This choice is especially shocking when the said sample is on your child's body, most alarmingly the face. A simple sniff will usually clear up any questions, but this is usually the moment when moms wonder how they got to this point in their life.

I was faced with this guessing game not once, not twice, but three separate times today. I was unaware that there was going to be a guess-the-brown-smudge pop quiz so I didn't even study!

Incident One (8:30 am)
In a classic Mrs. Wright move I removed Boo's nighttime diaper but didn't immediately replace it. She's almost 2 and I'm surprised how long she can hold it before alerting me. Too bad we still haven't made it to the potty... Boo was playing for almost an hour when I spotted a brown mystery specimen on the couch. Further scent tests proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was a positive I.D. of poop. Luckily it was the 'pick up with toilet paper' kind instead of the 'burn the couch and buy a new one' kind.

Incident Two (11:15am)
I was finally getting little Boo dressed to shop for the dreaded event we have today when I noticed a large amount of unidentified brown goo in the mouth area. Since this morning's incident was still 'fresh' I immediately went in for a closer look. The trusty smell test made me smile, which is also known as a positive identification of Oreos. A quick wipe down was all that was needed.

Incident Three (1:00pm)
After shopping and having lunch I removed Boo's shoes for a stinky diaper change (no need to examine THAT specimen). An unidentified brown smudge covered the toe of her sock and looked pretty goopy. I immediately remember that I never found any more 'evidence' from incident one and am hoping that the case is closed on that one. The sniff test is especially unnerving when you don't really have a feeling either way, so you're going in blind. The test revealed nothing- no poop, but no chocolate. This specimen still remains unidentified, so I figured a baby wipe would suffice as a solution to either problem. Hopefully I'll have much less time in the sniff lab tomorrow.

Dirty Little Secrets

It's Friday again, so that means another edition of Dirty Little Secrets! Why isn't everyone as excited as I am?

Somehow Boo missed the bath train and it's been 3 days... maybe 4!

I was thisclose to stealing a few of the kids' dyed eggs to make some egg salad. Don't worry, I ate half a bag of peanut m&m's instead, and NOT the individual size bag.

I am more than tempted to "accidently" get lost on the way to one of our events we have this weekend so I don't have to go.

I hid an entire can of potato pearls so I can eat them all by myself and no one has to know they were even here.

I think my surround sound is broken, and I think it isn't working because of the amount of dust in and around it.

I'm starting to be mildly offended that all my ads on here are for disinfectants. I may be lazy, but I'm not sure people need large amounts of chemicals after reading my thoughts. Maybe I'll start talking about flowers or something...

Now it's your turn to comment with your dirty little secret so I don't feel so alone! You can do it anonymously if it's that juicy... And if I'm hanging out here all alone I'll have to make up some good ones and comment to myself! Won't that be sad??

Day 11- Get Back Here Wagon!

I can't say that I'm totally off the wagon, but I sure feel like I'm being dragged behind it... I can feel myself losing momentum, and as hard as I'm trying to sustain this new lifestyle of getting dressed and showering it sure is tiring. I've been really busy this week running errands and getting things accomplished, so today we stayed home to relax. Too bad the kids decided that they were all going to be cranky and fight all morning. I had big plans for a nature walk but it's pretty gloomy out so I finally got them on board for a project.

I wrote secret messages on computer paper with white crayon, then they painted over the paper to reveal the message. It distracted them for a while, but then Sweetie Pie realized that I committed the Mommy sin of giving Little Man a bigger paint brush and the fun was over. This was taken in semi-happier times:



From that angle you can hardly tell that Little Man is wearing Sweetie Pie's pajamas and that Sweetie Pie has a huge knot in the back of her hair! I better tag that photo for our Christmas cards...

I'm not sure if it is the kids' behavior, the gloomy weather, the fact that I'm wearing yoga pants with no plan of doing yoga, or a combination of the three, but I feel like I'm dragging something equal to the weight of the contents of my nasty van behind me. My house is still way better than it was when I started this, but I'm not feeling nearly as motivated today as I have been.

I do have some breaking news that it's 2:45pm here and I have a plan for dinner already, but that dog hair on the stairs that I mentioned the other day is still there, I never cleaned out the freezer and my upstairs bathroom is still 'closed for repairs'. Maybe if put a sign on the door to that effect it would stay clean once I cleaned it. Now I'm onto something!

Day 10- Corn Dog Sticks and French Fries

I was sure today would be the big test of whether or not I would get dressed if I didn't have to leave the house, until I remembered a few urgent errands I was supposed to do yesterday. The kids were mildly upset that we had to leave as I think they are missing their jammies almost as much as I am. Don't be too sad for me though, as I decided to skip the bra and wear a sweatshirt. I'm sure that was an overshare, but I don't want anyone mistakenly thinking I have myself too put together. I got a few things done that I've been meaning to do for weeks, like signing our 'letter of intent' for Sweetie Pie's kindergarten. Who knew you had to register to be able to register!?

One of our stops was the library, where I had to return all my overdue books that I didn't even read. Can someone remind me why I thought I'd enjoy a knitting themed murder mystery? Yes, they exist, and no, I didn't get past the first page. In the interest of full disclosure I have to confess that I planned my errands so the kids wouldn't see their storytime friends doing an Easter egg hunt. You had to bring your own eggs and I didn't want Boo to be run down by some over eager 50 pound candyaholic... and it was cold and muddy. I'm sure they'll survive with the two other hunts on Easter.

I found the book This Is the Van That Dad Cleaned by Lisa Campbell Ernst at the library and we've already read it 3 times today. I love the rhythm of the story, plus it promotes nasty kids actually HELPING clean the mess they made, so that never hurts. So where do corn dog sticks and french fries come in? The book actually reminded me that I never posted about my own van cleaning adventures from Monday.

I had a horrible Target experience on Sunday that ended with all three of my kids having their own bag of popcorn. When small children are armed with popcorn it can be scary enough, but we also had to entertain ourselves in my van for 30 minutes waiting for Gami and Papa to meet us somewhere. The floor of my van was vomit inducing enough before the popcorn, but after that half hour it looked like the floor of a movie theater, and probably just as sticky. After dropping Sweetie Pie and Lil Man off at preschool I decided it would be a perfect time to vacuum out the smelly food pit...uh... I mean van.

Most people frequent the vacuums at the car wash and suck up a few rocks or grass. I was personally disappointed that all those juice boxes wouldn't fit into the vacuum. I wish I had made a list of things I found in there, but a few highlights were a size 1 diaper (Boo wears a 5 and we've been doing cloth for a year), a candy cane stuck to the carpet, more than one happy meal's worth of fries, at least 10 broken corn dog sticks, and the huge pack and play playpen that was buried under some winter clothing and garbage. That sucker is hard to hide! It took $3.00 and 12 minutes of vacuum time, but I can see the floor of the van. For next time I'm sure wishing that ours is the van that dad cleans.

Day 9- Feeding Frenzy

Now that I have my dishes and counters under control I really need to focus on feeding my family. It hasn't been pretty the last few months, and even when I had a plan every night I would occasionally write 'baked cheesy casserole' when I was making kraft macaroni and cheese. I am well aware that it is neither baked or a casserole, but for some reason it made me feel better.

It's true that I have MONTHS of menu plans in my handy recipe notebook, but I don't use them. I could make a new menu plan, but that would involve motivation, shopping, and cooking ahead. I love having precooked ground beef in my freezer so I can take it straight from the freezer to the pan. More times than not I add a magical mixture of ingredients that most people would call Hamburger Helper and dinner is done. One pound, one pan, one lazy mommy. :)

Unfortunately for my family we ran out of ground beef two weeks ago and everything else requires defrosting ahead of time. That isn't a good match when I have zero motivation and can't find any deals on ground beef. I also have a weird thing about buying meat when it gets discounted, but then I'm not really what kind of cut or whatever it is, so I put it in the freezer and forget about it. And I wonder why I have money problems...

Since tomorrow is trash day (my can has been in since Friday, but that was Mr. Wright's doing) I thought I'd make a goal to clean out my fridge and freezer and make a meal plan out of the edible contents and dump the space takers. We're going to have some interesting meals, but I'll just tell the family that fish sticks and popsicles is a common meal in Europe.

Extreme Makeover- Me Edition

I've been trying to get in shape lately, but it hasn't been going very well. For some reason between Boo REFUSING to stay in the day care at the gym I joined and me watching The Biggest Loser while eating more peanut butter cookies than there are contestants I mysteriously haven't lost much weight. My weight has always been hard to track as it can vary as much as 5-6 pounds just by weighing at different times of the day. I obviously never been 'together' enough to weigh at the same time every day. I joined a group of ladies that are all doing this same Extreme Makeover lead by Amber Filkins. Each week she posts a question for me to bore everyone with my answer to.

This week's question:
How are you keeping track of your achievements? How do you reward yourself when you achieve a goal?

This question gets me right from the start, as it insinuates that I should have some kind of achievements and have met a goal. Silly Amber! I have neither. I am happy with my weight, but I need some serious toning. Maybe once I achieve that my reward will be the fact that my mommy belly won't jiggle when I brush my teeth. On the upside I have mastered an angle in my bathroom mirror that makes my tummy look like defined abs! If only I could just stand there forever... since eventually I'll have to leave my bathroom I've purchased the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD. I am also planning on literally dusting off my Turbo Jam collection that I just HAD to have, so I guess I'll get the kids excited and we'll get shredded and jammed. I can't decide if that sounds dirty or painful...

Day 8- The Problem with PJ's

I just don't get what the big deal with wearing pajamas all day is... if I'm not going anywhere and the kids aren't going anywhere why should I use 4 clean outfits that won't even see outside our house? I feel like all I'm doing is creating more laundry that I will inevitably fall behind on. As a matter of fact I've put in the effort in the last year to get my kids to wear ANYTHING, as we had a good year or two of them constantly running around in their underwear. Pajamas used to be an improvement. I know our neighbors are thankful as my kids' favorite daily activity used to be standing in our living room window in their skivvies. I wasn't too worried as that window has so many fingerprints on it that you can barely see in or out anyway. Some may see that as lazy, but I view it as being proactive about our privacy. Getting dressed is all a big scheme forced on us by clothing manufacturers anyway... the nice pajama manufacturers just want to keep us warm! Tune in for another jammie rant soon- I'm sure it won't be too long from now.

Here's the status report for today-

Good mom
We played outside for a few minutes (it's still cold here in Alaska!) and blew bubbles while Mr. Wright gave the kids a ride on the road grader that's been decorating my yard for a few weeks. I bet the neighbors are thrilled to see that beast everyday when they step outside.

Good wife
I didn't slap Mr. Wright a few times when I sure wanted to. That counts, right!?

Good housekeeper
I finally washed the nasty cloth diapers that I've been meaning to do for way too long. The dishes are getting into the dishwasher rather quickly, but I've lost some momentum from day 1. I still haven't vacuumed my stairs which now have more hair than the dog and I've been putting off cleaning the upstairs bathroom. Overall the kids still wonder when our company is coming over because the counter are mostly clear.

Showering
I showered right before bed last night, and then slept on my wet hair. If you really need a mental picture of what I looked like upon awaking try picturing Elvira hair height, but with natural hippie waves, and without makeup or cleavage... bingo! I somehow lassoed it into a low ponytail and ran some errands. At one point I happened to be waiting in the car for Mr. Wright with impatient kids so I even threw on some makeup. You know it's been a while when your lip gloss is all cracked because you haven't used it in so long.

Day 7- A lasting improvement?

My home's transformation in the last week can't be described as anything but miraculous. The downside is that I have a long history of cleaning ups and downs. In 2008 I made a New Year's resolution that I would hand wash my dishes as they got dirty. From January 2008 to June 2008 I rarely used my dishwasher and hand washed everything. My counters stayed cleaner, and I had more free time. In June Mr. Wright left during the week for a new job. I was home alone with 3 kids under 5 all week and we rarely ate anything requiring more than one pot, if any. I started a horrible system of slacking all week, then freaking out when Friday rolled around. The house had 5 days worth of work to do and he was expected home. Not to mention I had to fit shaving my legs into all of that! He worked away all week from June through September so I had plenty of time to adjust to my new lazy lifestyle.

The point of this long, boring story is that you'd think after 5 months of keeping up with the dishes I would be "cured", but I still found a way to mess it up. As thrilled as I am that I know what color my carpet is (which isn't the color it is supposed to be :-X ) I am having issues with letting it all slip away. Once my counters are clear I just about break out in hives if someone leaves a bowl or paper out. Why can't I just be normal!?

As for my progress:
Today I cleaned my bedroom and removed 11 nasty cans of soda, one fountain soda, a billion dryer sheets, game pieces, some random bra straps that lost their cups, and an expired peanut oat bar. I really wanted to eat the peanut oat bar... maybe I should save that for the dirty little secrets post. I also cleaned my bathroom so I'll only have to lie about the upstairs bathroom being under repair. I wish I could call it the 'master' bathroom, but since it isn't attached to my room and the fact that I've 'mastered' not cleaning it, I'll just stick with the 'downstairs' label. I wonder if I can use 'quotes' anymore in this post...

The laundry is really falling behind and I haven't washed diapers in days, so that should be fun when I finally get around to doing it. The financial and environmental benefits of cloth diapering get reeeeeaaaaalllllly blurry around day 4. Nasty :-X I do have a few loads going right now, but only because Mr. Whinypants was running out of things to wear to work. Luckily I work in pajama pants so I don't have that problem.

Day 6- On The Surface

* This is an older post but since my organizing tips are all from a while ago it was all I had :P *
See what works for other people on Works For Me Wednesday @ We Are THAT Family


At one point today I was pondering my place in life again (I have to do something to block out the kids' screaming!) and decided that if I met someone today and invited them to my home I would look pretty "with it". Let me go back for a second and mention that I'm not inviting strangers to my home for anything bad, it's just an example, so calm down. My kitchen is clean, I have dinner in the crockpot, and all the kids are dressed. I guess if they wanted to use the bathroom my cover would be blown because there's a pile I refer to as Mt. Washmore in there. I'll just tell my new friend that both our bathrooms are under repair... forever.

I'm not sure why it's okay to post on the internet that I have that giant pile of unwashed stuff in my bathroom but not okay for my new friend to see it. If I ever become famous this will be out there for everyone to read. But then again, why do I care so much what others think about my life!? And why do I think I'll ever be famous, besides qualifying for the Guinness world record for most pairs of pajama pants owned? This is really a conversation I should be having with my therapist. Of course I'm joking, I can't afford heath insurance, especially with mental health coverage! :D

Yikes, my thoughts ran away with me for a second there. I thought I would show my past organizational miracles so that you can be impressed for a second, then remember the giant pile I have to wash and question why you're reading this in the first place. I pride myself on having fun, interactive ways of being organized, yet rarely use my own systems. And then I tell the whole world how un-organized I am, but let's not take another ride on THAT crazy train... Let's get started!

My Chore Box with yearly, monthly, weekly and daily tasks printed on cards with pictures for my non-reading kids. I had to put the SEPTEMBER cards back to take the picture!




My Planning Notebooks. The bills are divided by the company we owe, each with it's own divider pocket to hold past and present bills. I actually use this daily because if I didn't I'd be attempting to get my life together with no lights on . The recipe notebook is every recipe I've copied out of Taste of Home Magazine divided by the main meat ingredient so I can easily find recipes when I've thawed some mystery meat enough to identify it. It also has my past meal plan calendars that I haven't seen in months.



This is my main planner. I spent a few hours making my own ribbon dividers for the months and personalizing it as much as possible. I use this incredible cute and helpful organizational tool to track my period, period. A $15 planner that's all cute and I use it once a month. Impressed yet?



See what I mean!? I seem to have a sickness where I can organize anything, yet lack the follow trough. I wonder if my imaginary medical coverage would pay for treatment?

Day 5- Attack Of The Birds

Today was an interesting day... The kids and I got up and ate breakfast and noticed that not only did the birds find our new birdfeeder, but they were attacking it like they haven't eaten in months. At one point I counted 14 chickadees on my small balcony. We filled it with three pounds of food when we got it, and it's almost gone! I tried to bring the feeder in as the bird commotion was causing my neighbor's to investigate, but they wouldn't fly away for me to get it. So the swarm continues...



I did some shopping today to get my Easter stuff in order, and I've been keeping my kitchen spotless. The beds are unmade and the laundry isn't quite where it should be, but the kids and I are all dressed and we skipped nap to watch Annie together (which has a bit more language than I remember!!). I had to take a picture since they were all dressed, which is not such a normal thing around here. It's so much easier to keep up with life when it's sunny out! Tomorrow we're planning to dye eggs, so if anyone needs anything tie-dyed send it my way and I'll lay it under the table...

My monkeys- (a little blurry, but too cute to pass up)

Dirty Little Secrets

Just a quick tidbit to make room in my crappy mom file to make it through the weekend-

-I left my trashcan out from LAST Thursday all week, and to save from the embarrassment of dragging it in just to fill it and drag it out I just threw all the garbage in my van and drove it out to the end of the driveway.

-It's 4:30 pm and my son and I are still in my pajamas. My 5 year old is dressed because she has a life.

-I have folded laundry from 5 days ago that I never put away. It's almost gone now from people digging in it to find clothes.

-Last night I uploaded our Thanksgiving pictures to Shutterfly.

Anyone want to share their dirty little secrets? Anyone?

Day 4- A New System

Today I attempted to do the 7 Daily Habits that I linked to yesterday. I even printed them out and stuck them to that nasty crap on my counter so it wouldn't get lost. :) Here's my scorecard:

Making beds- I made my own bed, and dare I say *over achieved* with the kids' beds by actually washing the sheets too. I would say that is killing two birds with one stone, but I don't like to condone throwing things, or killing birds for that matter...

Laundry- The sheets were the first load, and I even threw another in to wash all my pajama pants for next week. I wish I was joking...

Garbage- My kitchen garbage happened to be full, so I threw the upstairs bathroom trash in. I could have gone downstairs and done all the trash, but I get winded easily. Maybe tomorrow!

Empty Kitchen Sink- I did very well with this one. I filled my dishwasher completely and even did those extra dishes that don't fit. Usually I just leave them for the next day.

Clean-up- I caught myself leaving things on the counter a few times, but overall I did much better than usual. No more warm milk for this lady!

Bathroom- Luckily (?) for me my 22 month old got some nasties on her hand that needed immediate antibacterial action, so it was a natural progression to clean the sink and counter at the same time. I didn't do the mirror or toilet, but it's still light out so I figure I've got time.

I'll let you know on the bedtime thing- usually I'm so stuffed full of chips and junky television that I stumble down to bed like a weeble falling downstairs, so we'll see how that goes.

I'm off to down some more brownies before I fully jump on the Extreme Makeover "Me" Edition over on Amber Filkins Blog. Don't tell her!

Day 3- Feeling Springy!

Despite (and maybe because of) the fact that we had a few inches of snow last night I decided that today was the day to feel Springy. After my 'good mom' duty of story time at the library was over I decided to pull a super mom and buy the kids a bird feeder. They thought I went nutty as I also promised that they could paint pictures when we got home (it was a bribe to get out of the library craft project as Boo was about one snotty sneeze away from throwing a full meltdown !). I was feeling great until I got home...

Mr. Wright had cleaned the whole kitchen! Why on Earth would this kill my great mood you ask?? Well, it starts with the fact that when I'm cleaning the kitchen I'm just doing my "job", but when he cleans the kitchen he boasts as if he just cured cancer while simultaneously solving the world's energy crisis, and then helped some elderly people cross the street for good measure. Also, he likes to clean by throwing everything away, where as I like to keep small treasures like bills to pay, etc. The kitchen wasn't even THAT bad... trust me, we've had much worse and he hasn't been motivated to clean it. Maybe he's feeling Springy too...

On to the mission at hand- A long, long time ago a friend linked me to the Crockpot Lady (the one that used her crockpot every day for a year) and I noticed on her site that she was writing a housekeeping "journal". Occasionally I check in to see about the book and was thrilled to see that she launched her own site to promote the book. You can find it HERE. I am particularly interested in The Daily 7 For A Highly Successful Household as it seems possibly attainable even in the Pajama-saurus state that I live my life. Maybe I'll try that tomorrow... see the motivation??

Day 2- Showering!!

I've been pondering on where I want to be in life and I'm not getting very far. I want to live up to my expectations of years past when I said "I'll never let myself go". I want to be the person that I think I'll be once all my New Year's Resolutions have magically changed my life. Wouldn't that be easy? If you could just say you want to change and be changed? How am I going to keep my house cleaner, spend more time enjoying my kids, get our finances in order, shower, AND get all my reality shows in!? Why is it that I don't have a "job", yet I can't accomplish half of the things some working moms can? Do get-most-of-it-done-Moms literally never sit down? I'm trying to remember that anything can be accomplished in baby steps.

Babysteps... I had a late night watching Suze Orman (financial babysteps!) and only fell asleep around 1:30. I couldn't wind down after the shorts fiasco that consumed my whole day. I woke up at 5:30 am and tried with no avail to fall back asleep. Finally at 6:30 I decided it was time for a shower. I rarely shower in the morning as I hardly ever leave the house and usually shower before bed. Because of this the mere act of me showing woke up the whole house. Awesome... now I'm wet, have sucky hair, and 3 cranky kids to feed. I whipped up some oatmeal (I'm too lazy to even heat the water- I just run the packet contents under hot tap water) for the kids and did my hair. It's amazing how the blonde highlights pop when they're CLEAN.

I actually did leave my house today, so that usually involves pant not meant for sleeping or yoga. I threw on my dirty jeans (don't judge me!!) and headed out of the house. It's not even lunch time yet and I'm showered and dressed! A banner day for Mrs. Wright...

Day 1- Dog Days

Day 1 was really yesterday, but since I have this blog because I'm a slacker I'm sure you'll understand. Yesterday I spent an inordinate amount of time making Lil' Man some shorts. It was great to break out the sewing machine and get crafty but I got so busy sewing the pockets on (upside down) that dinner time snuck up on me. Instead of sitting down to a healthy albeit late meal I nuked some wieners and threw some stale graham crackers on some plates. Insta-dinner!! I can hear the Super Mommies calling me into CPS...

Anywho, the kiddos had a nice picnic in the family room and got all sorts of crumbs all over the couch and rug. What does Mrs. Wright do? She flips over the cushions and lets the dog in. I'm so ashamed! I even moved the couch a bit to allow the dog full access. This is going to be harder than I thought...